I won’t mince words: The would-be comedy “Tied to a Chair” is a chaotic mess.
It starts out promisingly enough as one of those genteel British comedies seen on PBS, but quickly loses its way when curly haired housewife Naomi (Bonnie Loren) leaves her hubby in hopes of rekindling her acting career.
Her first stop is Cannes, where she meets movie director Billy Rust (Mario Van Peebles). He’s hoping to jump-start his stalled career with “a typical American movie” that requires the lead actress to be tied to a chair.
Naomi wants that part — it’s “every woman’s dream,” she insists — and jets to NYC for a screen test.
She quickly becomes involved in Billy’s murder hoax, her mobster father’s shady deals and a terrorist plot by immigrant cabbies.
“Tied to a Chair,” written and directed by Michael Bergmann, loses credibility with each succeeding scene. The final blow comes when we discover that Naomi speaks perfect Arabic.
By that time, any viewer who hasn’t been tied to his or her seat will have fled the theater.