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Ask New Yorkers if Anthony Weiner cheated on his wife when he posted sexts to random women, and you’ll get two different answers — depending on the gender of the respondent.
Most women agree: “It’s definitely cheating,” says Alexandra Sorcie, a 24-year-old Long Island fashion publicist. “Anything you wouldn’t do in front of your significant other is cheating. He wouldn’t send pictures and messages to other women in front of his wife.”
Adds Sarah Naughton, a 22-year-old Harlem actor, “It’s definitely a violation of trust. He has a duty to uphold a moral standard as a politician. If I was married, I wouldn’t send flirty messages.”
Calling it “emotional cheating,” Elizabeth Christine, 27, a consultant in the Flatiron District, says, “When he sent the photos, it went from verbal to visual. That’s the cheating line. Men don’t think it’s cheating because they don’t want to be considered cheaters themselves.”
Perhaps. Men certainly seem less quick to condemn Weiner for sending out a photo of his wiener, or for engaging in sexy talk while his wife, Huma Abedin, traveled with her boss, Hillary Clinton.
“I don’t necessarily call it cheating,” says David Grimm, 40, of Washington Heights. “It’s perusing the market.” Unclear on whether his girlfriend would agree, he was in line with many men, who characterized Weiner’s sexting as “iffy.”
“I don’t consider it cheating,” says Richard Goetschius, 53, a carpenter from Lodi, NJ. “The difference is he didn’t actually commit the act of cheating, but he did send some racy pictures, which is inappropriate,.”
But many women say that Twitter and Facebook are the new social media meat markets, where men increasingly hit on them and make their sexual intentions clear. Julieanne Smolinski, a 27-year-old New York blogger, says that so many married men have approached her online, it’s doesn’t surprise her anymore. “Cheating is anything your significant other would see and go to frowntown about,” she says.
She compares the disgraced congressman to a rock star with fawning fans and an online outlet to romance them. “Whereas Fred Durst maybe had six groupies hitting on him at a T.G.I. Friday’s, he now has several million who can direct-message him a boob picture.”
Mary Colvin, a 23-year-old Park Slope playwright, had no doubt that the sleazy shots were cheating with a capital C. “If you’ve given your word that you’re going to honor a commitment, then you shouldn’t be sending naked pictures to people.”
Like many women, she, too, has experienced online advances from men. “I’ve had someone who was in a relationship sending flirty, inappropriate messages to me,” she says. “I said that we should just be friends. He broke off contact because that was not the answer he wanted.”
Smolinski probably puts it best when she advises all potential
Weiner-dogs out there: “If you wouldn’t show a girl your underwear-clad member on your futon, don’t show her one on the Internet.”
Did Anthony Weiner cheat on his wife? It’s a battle of the sexes over sexting.
“I don’t consider it cheating . . . He did something wrong, definitely, but he didn’t actually cheat on his wife . . . the difference is he didn’t actually commit the act of cheating.
But he did send some racy pictures, which is inappropriate, especially for the job that he’s been trusted to .
Maybe he’s got a sex problem.”
— Richard Goetschius, 53, carpenter, Lodi, NJ
“It’s all brand-new technology, so people think it’s OK to text a little, it’s not doing anything. Maybe it is a big deal . . .
[But] specific to Anthony Weiner, I read some of his text messages today, and they were pretty hard-core.
Maybe that’s virtual cheating.”
— Pete Burdette, 40, waiter, Queens
“I’m not sure I consider it to be cheating, but I consider it to be dumb and pretty uninformed. I think it wasn’t cheating because it wasn’t in person and it wasn’t physical, but maybe the jury’s out on that.”
— Tim Peterson, 46, marketer, Stonybrook, LI
“I definitely think it’s cheating. He’s showing his body to someone who isn’t his wife. That’s cheating.”
— Stephanie Verwys, 20, student, Sparta, NJ
“In my book, if I found my husband communicating with another female online and it was in explicit sexual terms — yes, I would consider it cheating.
Because I don’t think you have to necessarily cheat with the body.”
— Natalie Morillo, 27, full-time student, The Bronx
“No, I don’t consider it cheating. He only sent pictures . . . It only becomes cheating if he physically did something with that person.”
— Nancy Vitulli, 32, registered dietician, Larchmont