Sports

Having a blast now that Francesa’s back

“Hello, I’m just a fool who’s willing to wait around, and wait for you.

But baby, can’t you see, there’s nuthin’ else for me to do.

I’m hopelessly devoted, hopelessly devoted, hopelessly devoted to you.”

— Lyrics by John Farrar, sung by Olivia Newton-John

I admit it. When Mike Francesa goes on summer vacation, I go to pieces. I miss him, terribly. All local sports radio melts in the sun; we’re left with weekday hosts muttering “Unbelievable” and talking trade deadline stuff lifted from the local papers.

In fact, I’d like to coordinate future vacations with Francesa, thus we would always be on the job together. It sure gets dull around here without him.

But it’s always worth the wait.

Monday, just minutes on the air following his return, he was kind enough to tell us that he not only attended the Derek Jeter 3,000th-hit game, but felt it essential, yet again, to add that he watched from his usual fit-for-The-King throne, behind home plate. Tanned and refreshed, he hit the air running!

Then he said the funniest thing: There’s an erroneous perception that he didn’t think Jeter’s 3,000th hit as a Yankee was a big deal. Funny, seems every time I, his most reliant devotee, turned on his show, the last two months, he was lecturing on why it’s no big deal.

Also, Francesa’s superior expertise allowed him to claim that Brett Gardner may be very fast, but he’s not a skilled base-stealer. Seems Francesa might still be clinging to his claim, two seasons ago, that Gardner is not an “everyday player.” The next night, with Gardner on base, I watched closely, trying to detect the flaws in his base-stealing. Didn’t see anything when he stole second, nor did I detect any flaws when he stole third.

But what do I know? And how can I doubt a fellow who sees and knows everything? I used to believe only what I saw. Now I believe only what Francesa tells me. Who wouldn’t?

Heck, for years, until Mike — think it’s OK to call him by his first name? — straightened me out, I thought that 3,500 square feet is a pretty big house, now I know it’s “average-size.”

Speaking of radio show devotees, listeners to ESPN’s morning simulcast of “Mike & Mike” long have claimed that Francesa lifts (borrows, takes, swipes, steals) info heard on that show then speaks it as his own, later that day.

Tuesday, Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic landed sports agent Drew Rosenhaus for an interview. Wonder if it helped that Rosenhaus last year was chosen by ESPN to star in an ESPN commercial.

Anyway, Rosenhaus, when asked what a late NFL labor settlement will mean to starting the season, said something close to: “It would be like cramming six months of work into a few days.”

Later, Tuesday, on his WFAN/YES simulcast, Francesa, addressing the same topic, said, “An [un-named] agent told me,” then recited what Rosenhaus said that morning on ESPN, including the “like cramming six months of work” part. Fascinating.

Tuesday, moments after telling us — three times, no less — that Mets general manager Sandy Alderson “likes home runs” and that Citi Field is anything but a home run park, he began to get on the Mets’ Daniel Murphy, although batting over .300 and playing multiple positions, as not much.

Francesa dismissed Murphy as not much when he was a rookie, thus he seems to be stuck with his expert assertion.

Anyway, among the reasons Francesa gave? Murphy has only six home runs. But didn’t he just state that Citi . . . ?

Then there was the devastating news that broke when Francesa was on vacation: His Sunday night Ch. 4 show is kaput. I already feel the void, the emptiness. So many memories . . .

There was that time, one Sunday morning on his NFL radio show, when he picked the Raiders to cover as a big home favorite. A caller then told him the Raiders could lose outright because they have so many injuries. Francesa dismissed the caller as a know-nothing.

That night on Ch. 4, Francesa reported the Raiders’ upset loss, adding that it stood to reason, given that they had so many injuries.

I’m mad about the man.

Classy Emrick leaves Devils

In a wonderful and typically classy fans-first open letter, Mike (Doc) Emrick yesterday announced that after 21 years, he no longer will call Devils’ telecasts. He instead will work exclusively on Comcast’s NBC and Versus NHL telecasts.

“A good friend advised me several years ago that before any major decisions you should look in the mirror and look at your birth certificate,” wrote Emrick, who worked for MSG Network for 23 years.

“Since my contracts with MSG, NBC and Versus all expired late this spring, this was another of those times. I discovered that the birth certificate couldn’t be changed and it showed me to be 65 in a few days.”

After noting that less travel and fewer assignments appeal to him and his wife, Joyce, he went on to thank everyone.

Emrick, as good as he is on the air — polite, personable, sharp, knowledgeable, engaging, considerate to fans and media — is the same man off the air.

The Hockey Hall of Famer and cancer survivor, who broke into the bigs calling Flyers games before a brief run with the Rangers, signed the letter, “With great appreciation, Doc Emrick.”

Without being presumptuous, I know I write for the tens of thousands who enjoyed local hockey games called by Mike Emrick, with, “The feeling is mutual.”

Singleton on quite the roll

Ken Singleton might be having the best stretch of his YES career.

Monday, bottom of the first, the moment after the Rays took a 2-0 lead: “The Rays had 50 at-bats [16 innings against Boston], last night, and didn’t score a run. They’ve had two at-bats and a walk tonight, and they’ve got two runs.”

Later, after recalling David Cone’s perfect game, he said: “Congratulations, David, a tremendous feat. Speaking of tremendous feet, here’s Brett Gardner.”

*

Awkward moment during Phillies-Mets, Monday, when SNY shot a picture of a fan wearing a T-shirt carrying an old photo of Keith Hernandez, in uniform and on the bench — smoking a cigarette.

Hernandez didn’t duck.

“That was taken in Pittsburgh in the dugout, and I always hated that photograph,” Hernandez said.

But Hernandez won best-in-show, Wednesday. With the Mets down a run in the eighth and fastballer Jason Motte pitching, Hernandez said, “I wouldn’t give him that hole” between short and third. St. Louis was playing lefty batter Josh Thole to pull. Next pitch, Thole tied the game with a line drive through “that hole.”

*

Happy now? The NFL’s “Instant” Replay rule this season mandates the league’s review of every scoring play, no challenge needed. Fabulous. This “evolving” rule has become Dr. Frankenstein’s monster, which turns on its maker — and the rest of us.

*

NBC tomorrow, 5-6 p.m. presents the first of eight weekend stakes races coverage from Saratoga, three on NBC, five on Comcast cousin Versus. Tom Hammond as host. NBC will pick up the track’s call, provided by ex-NBCer Tom Durkin.

*

This has nothing to do with sports, but I gotta share it. My twin sister’s neighbor on Fire Island collects pails and shovels kids leave on the beach. He hangs them a high fence in his back yard. He calls it, “The Wall of Tears.”