Sports

Tiger caddie got what he deserved

Allow me to preface this with a disclaimer: I don’t wish ill on anyone in the workplace, I really don’t. I’ve been fired before. I know what that feels like. I know what it is show up at the office one day, be summoned into an airless conference room by soulless suits, and be given six weeks severance and a boot out the door.

And even with that, when the soulless suits who sent me packing got their own pink slips a few months later, I did feel bad for them, for about a second and a half. I feel bad when I fire coaches and managers in the newspaper. I do it, but I don’t like it. Getting fired is about as low a moment as you can endure, short of losing a loved one.

And that said?

Stevie Williams got what he deserved.

Wait, let me be more to the point: For Stevie Williams to get what he truly deserves, then Tiger Woods should rehire him next Monday, solely so he can fire him again next Tuesday. And maybe do it three or four more times. Maybe then say, publicly, “Hmmm … maybe I’ll hire Stevie back …” just so he can then say, publicly, “Nah.”

I’ll put this as succinctly as I can: I have covered sports for a living for 25 years. For most of those years I’ve covered professional sports, which means I’ve endured some of the basest, most odiferous behavior patterns ever. I’ve encountered egos, and sociopathic narcissism, and the kind of corrosive, offensive diatribes that would make an HBO documentarian blush. I’ve met some boors in my day.

And none of them was worse than Stevie Williams.

None of them was as coarse, as ill-mannered, as arrogant, as lacking in basic grace and dignity as Williams, who didn’t just fancy himself as Tiger’s caddie, but as his Luca Brasi, too: a henchman/button man who tore into anything in their path. Forget the fact that he all but regularly put contracts out on photographers who would snap their cameras at times Williams deemed inappropriate — god forbid these great unwashed actually, you know, do their jobs.

No. On three separate occasions, in close proximity to galleries, I saw Stevie Williams advise three different paying fans to do anatomically impossible gestures. This wasn’t preceded by, “Excuse me,” or, “Sorry to bother you,” or even “We’re trying to work here.”

All three times, a fan made the mistake of yelping something to the tune of “We love you, Tiger, you’re the man!” And Steve Williams’ retort was, “Get the bleep out of the way and go bleep yourself.”

Charming guy. And it was nice of him to take the news so well, too, playing the victim now, talking about how he lectured Tiger after the scandal that he would have to earn his, Stevie’s, respect back. Which begs the question of course:

Who wants a guttersnipe’s respect in the first place?

Stevie Williams made a killing off carrying Tiger’s water and holding Tiger’s bag — being his on-course butler, essentially — and that still wasn’t enough to keep him quiet when he was finally given walking papers. Hell, even Luca Brasi knew enough to follow the ancient Sicilian code of omerta . He goes away now. He wasn’t the first high-profile caddie to get pink-slipped by his boss. But he may be the first that has people wanting to send thank-you notes to the boss.

And one ultra-clear message to Stevie himself:

Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

For a daily dose of Vacs Whacks, click nypost.com.blogs/vaccaro.

VAC’S WHACKS

* The way the NFL worked the lockout endgame was pure PR genius. Now all delays will be pinned on players. As Jerry Seinfeld would say, the owners have Hand now.

* Let’s just say it doesn’t appear the looming Mets/Carlos Beltran break-up is going to affect the big town the same way Eddie Giacomin leaving the Rangers did.

* The divide between CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett as the 1-2 members of the Yankees’ rotation is roughly the distance between David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar as Eddie Van Halen’s chief vocal wingman. Sorry, Van Hagar fans.

* Congratulations certainly are in order to Marc Anthony, a first-ballot enshrinee into the “Billy Joel Holy Cow He Cheated on Her Hall of Fame.”

WHACK BACK AT VAC

Jerry Jacobs: If Mets fans turn the Post upside down, they will find their team in second place and the Phillies dead last. Sometimes denial is better than throwing your shoe at the television.

Vac: Using that formula, there may yet be hope for the Cubs …

Herb Eichen: I’ve said for years: The women play a much better brand of soccer than the men. There is a glorious flow to the women’s game; theirs is the beautiful game! I did enjoy the game, but I think they can do some things to increase scoring: free subs like hockey, no kicking the ball back to the goalie, no offsides rule, and anytime you kick the ball out of bounds in your defensive zone, there will be a corner kick.

Vac: Another problem with soccer is even in a grand event like this one, much of the talk is about how unsatisfying a penalty-kick conclusion is. I hear the arguments against, but I don’t buy them. Golden goal is the only way to go.

Aram Gumusyan: What a contrast Sunday: the Women’s World Cup gets decided by, essentially, a free-throw contest, while a relatively meaningless baseball game between the Red Sox and the Rays goes until 2 a.m. to declare a winner. Like you said, we should all enjoy the soccer game for what it was, but it’s still irksome that they can’t settle it on the field like every other sport.

Vac: Ibid.

Rick Meyer: The reason Derek Jeter took the ball and Roger Maris gave his back to Sal Durante is simply explained: Maris was a truly class act, Jeter postures as a class act.

Vac: Again, we may never know what Jeter does in private, but I think this shows how unexpected a home run as

No. 3,000 was for him.