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At the Hudson Terrace on Monday night, women slunk about in skintight dresses, showing ample cleavage and nibbling on complimentary snacks. Many of the ladies were drinking water; despite the $40 entrance fee — $80 for men — there was no open bar. Most New York gals have no problem shelling out $16 of their own money for a cocktail, but these women were having none of that.
When you’re at a function whose sole purpose is to match so-called “sugar daddies” with their prospective “sugar babies,” you expect the gentlemen to pick up the bar tab — and a whole lot more.
The party, sponsored by the sugar-daddy Web site SeekingArrangement.com, was the “Midsummer Night Affair.” At this mixer — described by host Alan Schneider as “a very elegant, classy and refined event” — talking about money and gifts upon first introduction wasn’t taboo; it was expected.
“Remember, guys, you’ve got to be generous,” crooned the emcee throughout the evening.
“You’ve got to make it happen. It’s passion all night long.”
It was certainly something. The male attendees were a bizarre mix of silver-tressed gentlemen in well-cut suits, awkward finance guys, dudes with thickly gelled hair and loud paisley shirts, and one Hasidic Jew.
Manning the periphery of the room were career-counseling vendors (there for the women, according to Brandon Wade, founder and CEO of Seeking-Arrangement.com), plastic surgery reps and, more mysteriously, window-cleaner salesmen.
About 400 people registered for the mixer. It was a huge turnout, according to Wade, who says that 100,000 of the current 800,000 members of Seeking Arrangement are based in the NYC area.
Wade launched the site in 2006 out of his own frustration with online dating. He recalls, “My mom used to say to me: ‘Graduate from school, and when you have a good job and make a lot of money, the girls will line up.’ ”
And line up they have.
Wade, 41, says the site’s seen 20 percent growth each year, and charges sugar daddies $50 a month to join (for sugar babies, it’s free). Both parties can explicitly state in their profiles what they want and what they’re willing to give (whether it be $5,000 a month or their rent paid in full — both common sugar-baby demands).
There are 10 sugar babies for every sugar daddy. Nearly half of the sugar daddies are married. And men needn’t fret if they’re not rolling in dough. “I’ve seen a lot of sugar daddies who make $60,000 or $70,000, because if they have $1,000 in disposable income a month, that makes them a sugar daddy,” says Wade.
So what distinguishes this from, say, prostitution? “Prostitutes don’t have a relationship with their clients. [A prostitute] has to sleep with everyone . . . In an arrangement, it’s OK,” says Wade. Those in favor say the site — and the parties it hosts — are just lifting the veil from these kinds of sexual arrangements.
“This is all very true,” says Lak Vohra, a 46-year-old member of Seeking Arrangement, gesturing at the room while brandishing a cigar. “There is no camouflage. There are no masks. Everyone reveals themselves as soon as they walk in the door.”
Vohra, a Financial District resident, came to the mixer to find a woman to spoil. “This Web site changed my f – – king life,” says Vohra, the owner of a marketing firm, who claims a $2 million net worth. “When does a guy like me — aging, losing hair, big belly — meet a girl like this?” he adds, grabbing a curvaceous girl and giving her cheek a big, wet kiss.
Rebecca, a 24-year-old Rhode Island School of Design student, took the train in from Providence just for the event.
“I’m single. I’d like to meet an older man who is mature and has lots of money — let’s be honest,” she says, noting that she has loans. “Not a grandpa. More like a dad,” she clarifies.
Meanwhile, across the room, men and women were entering into serious negotiations. Beltkiss Ocon, a 25-year-old paralegal living in Yonkers, flirted with Mike, a 36-year-old author from Williamsburg who sported a plaid fedora and claimed his net worth as “over $1 million.” Ocon has been on Seeking Arrangement for two months and expects “at least $6,000” a month from her sugar daddy; Mike wasn’t down with the idea of a monthly stipend.
His counteroffer: $1,000 a month toward dinners and activities they’d do together. “You’ve got to put your money where your mouth is,” retorted Ocon.
At least one male guest agreed. “You want my opinion? I don’t think there’s a guy here worth 50 cents,” laughs Peter Dorn, owner of the Copacabana, who’s considering hosting the next mixer at his club.
But Dorn’s skepticism didn’t deter Cassy, a 28-year-old business grad student who arrived — dressed to the nines and toting a large hot-pink patent leather Louis Vuitton bag — “to have a new experience.”
And to find a man to give her the $10,000 to $20,000 per month she requests. “I don’t think it’s hard to get,” she says. “It just depends on how you market yourself.”
Or how good of a negotiator the sugar daddy is. “I’ve seen girls on the site say they want $20,000 a month, and then they come to spend a night with me after dinner and $300 cash,” says Jim Artress (net worth: “less than a million”), who says he’s 61 but lists his age as 57 on his profile. “It’s like politics,” he adds. “You need to compromise.”