How cheap-looking is the modern-day romantic tragedy “Private Romeo”? Take a couple of friends to see it, and the amount you spend may exceed the amount the filmmakers did.
This gay adaptation set at an all-male military school starts with a clever premise — that the boys are reading “Romeo and Juliet” aloud in class, and just carry on speaking fluent Bardish (Missing no opportunity to play up such lines as “The bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.”) as they go about their lives.
But it’s a bit late in the day to claim any boldness or originality for delivering a gay take on anything, so what we’re left with is undistinguished, unremarkable actors (Seth Numrich and Matt Doyle are the leads) mouthing the familiar lines on a weirdly deserted campus. Even in scenes about wild parties or ranks massing for drill and ceremony, there are never much more than half a dozen actors around, and morning reveille is blasted out of a boombox. What, no bugler budget?
On the other hand, if slender, gleaming, nearly hairless young men wearing only towels and doing push-ups while declaiming Shakespeare appeal to you, prepare to swoon.