Toney Douglas (Anthony J. Causi)
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Jeremy Lin is for all the people who have been told since they were kids they wouldn’t amount to anything. His unfathomable emergence from the bottom of the Cracker Jack box is for the world’s walk-ons.
The last time Madison Square Garden’s crowds were this surprised is when front-row fans realized there wasn’t water in the bucket but confetti.
Lin is the 99 percent’s identity. His stratospheric success is a prayer for the preponderance promised nothing in the Land of the Prima Donna. He is the Revenge of the Nerds’ sequel.
He is a rescue animal that nobody wanted, who stars in his own rescue and also winds up saving the cheerless family (metaphorically or not) that took him strictly for companionship.
Lin is an inspirational speech for those begrudgingly given meaningless minutes or thankless tasks by bosses who expect meaningful results and unswerving fidelity.
He is for those belted to the bench of coaches who play short rotations regardless of score or time.
He is for those who never seem to catch a break.
He’s “just give me a chance” in a league overrun with players furnished books of chances.
New York hasn’t seen this kind of love since Gomez Addams heard Morticia speaking French.
Lin is for all the discouraged, the never encouraged.
He is for the baby-bears — too slow, small, undefined, young, old, under-qualified and over-qualified.
He is for the written-off and looked-off.
He is for the frozen out, passed over and brushed off.
He’s for those who start out anonymous and have stayed unanointed.
Lin is for those wearing choke collars on short leashes.
He is for the underdogs yanked after one mistake or missed shot.
He is for the permanently picked-on and never picked.
He is for the hopeless whose weaknesses are accentuated and strengths devalued.
Lin is for all the people who are browbeaten and not in the conversation in the huddle of office meetings.
He is the Poster Pioneer for the buried alive.
How many times in the last 10 days has the word “inconceivable” appeared in print or heard in the same sentence with Lin? And, for that matter, Mike D’Antoni.
Instead of taking a prompt from Rockets general manager Daryl Morey and simply admit he had no idea what Lin had to offer — despite working him out before the 2010 draft, seeing him play in the Las Vegas Summer League and having him under his jurisdiction since Dec. 27 — D’Excusio is spinning gobbledygook nonstop.
His quotes are inconceivable. Said he had to see whether Iman Shumpert was a point guard and whether Mike Bibby and Toney Douglas “could do it.”
Was D’Antoni paying attention whatsoever the past two seasons? It’s inconceivable that merely he and assistant Mike Woodson, who coached Bibby in Atlanta, didn’t know Bibby was toast and Douglas an unlicensed point pilot. Evidently, Take a Hike Mike needed another 22 games this season for that to seep through.
As for Shumpert, all it took was just one look from me and millions of others to know the 6-foot-6 rookie is eminently more comfortable and effective off the ball. D’Antoni needed to watch the tape a couple hundred times before reaching that conclusion.
His face should be Crimson! For that and more! D’Antoni actually had the effrontery to state Lin’s “opportunity came fairly quickly.” That he “got lucky because we were playing so bad.”
Lin got lucky! Inconceivable! There I go again using that word. Although, contrary to what Inigo Montoya told Vizzini in “The Princess Bride,” in this case, I think it means exactly what I think it means.
Meanwhile, they don’t come any luckier than D’Antoni. Or more relieved, notes column contributor J.R. Douglas: “For a minute, Mike thought he might have to use his brother’s couch.”
I don’t want you to think everything slips by D’Antoni. He indeed has noticed the Knicks are “playing a lot better” (five straight wins) and Lin is “a very smart point guard. He’s kind of what I was searching for.”
Hope none of us ever lose anything in his home.
Afterthought: The Mysterious J says Lin’s coronation isn’t official until Isiah Thomas takes credit for him becoming a Knick.
Column contributor Fred Smith alerts us to another Lin first: “He’s the only one in the NBA who knows what all those tattoos are really saying.”
This just in from column chondriac Richie Kalikow: “Woody Allen is sitting so close he can ask Lin if he has a younger sister.”