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Welcome to the Big Apple, Tim Tebow. Now, suit up!
Plain white shirts, square-toe loafers and pastel ties may cut it in Colorado and Florida, but in New York, we expect power dressing.
So while you’re working on your passing game, you need to put some effort into that wardrobe of yours.
The newest New York Jet and captain of the God squad landed at the Jets’ practice facility to address the press yesterday — showing up in a getup (left) as boring as his sex life.
For his Gotham debut, the 24-year-old backup quarterback looked every bit the second fiddle in an imperfectly fitted, light-gray two-button suit, a blasé textured pastel-green tie and a snooze-worthy white shirt.
All said, it was just an $895 off-the-rack Hugo Boss suit — something any average Joe with a Visa card can snap up.
And — the horror! — slip-on, square-toed loafers.
Men’s fashion bible Esquire quickly took to the Internet to tell the QB to get back to the fitting room.
He looked like he was “just trying to fade into the background,” according to Esquire.
“Today’s presser gave no indication he has any sartorial charm.”
But while he’s certainly not a clutch dresser, he sure knows how to handle high-pressure situations — like addressing the awkward situation between himself and Mark Sanchez, who stands between Tebow and the starting gig.
“From my conversations with [Mark], he was excited about working with me, and I am excited about working with him,” Tebow said.
“I have a lot of respect for him as a football player, as a person. He’s always handled himself with so much integrity, class as a person.”
And most savvy of all, he avoided polarizing talk about his faith — until he was repeatedly asked.
And even then, he was able to punt it away as a distraction:
“I’m pretty sure I’m not the first athlete that has gotten on a knee and prayed,” he said. “Somehow, it’s known as Tebowing, and I’m not sure why.
“This is a press conference for the New York Jets football team, so I feel like it’s an opportunity for me to answer questions about the football team.”
So Tebow can talk the talk — now he just needs to dress the part.
And one final piece of advice — next time, shave!
This $895 off-the-rack Hugo Boss ensemble is tailored perfectly to Tim’s torso, but the slim trousers are too tight for his thick, athletic thighs. Next time, go custom.
Slip-on loafers with a clunky, squared-off toe are perfect for a middle manager in Florida, not a hot-shot gunslinger in New York City.
Tim may be committed to Jesus, but he’s wishy-washy in his choice of shirt. Plain white says boring and safe. And in this town, we wear power ties. A minty green homage to Gang Green is weak.