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Keep Francesa in Christmas: Not even the most rabid megalomaniacs — not even Donald Trump — are so full of themselves to have made a bigger public fuss over their birthdays than what Mike Francesa did last week. His on-air salute to himself lasted two days!
Wednesday, with the Tim Tebow-to-Jets and Saints’ bounty suspensions stories just broken, Francesa led his WFAN/YES show with what he did, the day before, for his birthday. That was the top story.
But maybe he needed a break from authoritatively getting everything — everything — dead wrong. I’m not sure he even got his birthday right. March 20th? Not Dec. 25th?
Ah, but what a week. Even by Mikey’s first-to-know, last-to-be-correct standards, he caused carsickness — among those seated at their desks!
Monday, after the Fred Wilpon/Bernie Madoff victims agreement was announced, Francesa spent the afternoon spewing know-it-all nonsense — Madoff walked with kings, queens and U.S. presidents; he was “a God” known to all in the investment world, the federal government issued monthly audits/approvals of his earnings statements, and no one inside or outside ever warned anyone about Madoff, thus why should the Mets’ owners have acted any differently?
All of it, dead wrong!
What Francesa was ladling was a composite of selective info, bad info and his usual double-scoop of spoken-from-the-throne rotten guesswork, repeated — and hollered — over and over.
And there were callers, some obviously finance professionals and/or those who knew what they were talking about, who wanted to tell him he’s wrong. Informed discussion — good radio — could have followed.
Fat chance.
It’s now one of His Majesty’s most transparent ploys: When a caller dissents and sounds as if he/she knows what he/she is calling about, Francesa will interrupt, shout over him/her and soon give him/her the hook. If you don’t tap your feet to what Mikey’s singing, you’re gone!
Also, last week, Peyton Manning signed with Denver. Francesa, relying upon his coterie of inside, invisible and imaginary informants — unless he lifts info from news outlets and pretends it to be his — nailed that one as only King Mikey, Marquis of Cannes du Cola Sans Sucre, can.
Almost from the moment Manning left the Colts, he asserted that one team Manning definitely would not sign with was cold-weather Denver.
He also delivered a long, repetitive, warning speech — absorb his genius — about how Manning’s next-team signing process would be a protracted one, over many weeks, perhaps months.
It took 12 days.
Last week the NFL came down hard — big fines, long suspensions, loss of draft picks — on those current and recent-past Saints coaches and administrators who were party to that extra-ugly, three-year bounty plan.
When that story broke, Francesa sagely dismissed it as nothing, expertly stating the NFL would respond with “a slap on the wrist,” no suspensions, no big deal.
Last week, he ripped the Jets for trading for Tebow. But later, when he had Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum on his show, he assigned that criticism to others. “There are those who think. . .”
Par for his dishonest discourse. Francesa recently told Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun that anyone who thought his team didn’t belong in the NCAAs is a fool. Previously, Francesa flat-out said on the air that UConn doesn’t deserve to be in the NCAAs. Among Francesa’s repetitive prefaces is, “Let’s be honest.”
Last week Jon Rothstein, a CBS Sports Network college basketball savant who seems to know what he’s talking about, was introduced. Francesa spent the session answering his own questions. Rothstein often was unable to complete a sentence. He may as well have been a bag of mulch delivered to King Mike’s Royal Estate. Again, nothing unusual.
During this “interview,” Francesa declared Michigan State the team that can beat Kentucky. Francesa interrupted Rothstein to puff that Louisville doesn’t shoot well enough to beat MSU. That night, as if on cue, Louisville, a five-point underdog, beat MSU by 13. Mikey never misses an opportunity to be dead wrong.
Then there are those within ESPN who monitor Francesa to find strange coincidences: On several occasions, they claim, when his show comes out of an update and commercials, Francesa returns to report — as his own intellectual property, naturally — news and opinions just heard on ESPN TV and radio.
Last week, Francesa, seemingly out of the blue, claimed that he had bet that Joe Namath would rip the Jets for the Tebow deal. “Can you imagine Namath on this one?”
Mikey got one right! Hey, he was due. Namath, that day, went on ESPN 1050, from where he ripped the Jets for the Tebow deal.
Ah, but that happened a half-hour before Mikey said it would. It also was Tweeted before Mikey said that. Amazing, eh?
Happy birthday, to meeee!
NCAAs put fans to sleep
So, with four networks televising the NCAA Tournament, we weren’t supposed to miss anything. But Thursday, Ohio State-Cincinnati didn’t end until 11:55, Marquette-Florida ended at 12:33 Friday morning. What difference does it make if they were on different networks if half the country’s asleep during the final 16?
* Gee, a battle of words between two U. of Miami show-boaters, Warren Sapp and Jeremy Shockey. Haven’t been more stuck for a rooting interest since the Iran-Iraq War.
* Good stuff from NBC Sports Net, sticking past the end of Capitals-Blackhawks to show both teams shaking hands with linesman Dan Schachte, retiring after 30 years. Schachte, from Wisconsin, worked more games than any American-born NHL official.
* Someone tell Fox News Channel’s Bill O’Reilly that the 4-year-old — and a good one, racing at Santa Anita — named The Factor, same as his show, can’t win this year’s Kentucky Derby. The Derby’s for 3-year-olds.
* For such a cool guy who takes so many slap shots, Stephen A. Smith sure goes to pieces when someone throws a jab his way. … Bad math here, Friday. “This Week In Baseball” hadn’t been on for 24 years, but 34.
* Not to suggest that tough-talking, afraid-of-no-one Craig Carton has become a Garden shill since his WFAN show hooked up with MSG Network, but Monday he introduced Mike Woodson as if they’re pals, calling the Knicks coach, “Bud,” then asking, “How ya doing, kiddo?”
* So 26 years later the NFL is still working out the kinks in its “instant” replay rule. The Lewis and Clark Expedition took just two years. … Long Island News 12’s Bob Wolff, cherished sportscaster, author and, increasingly, mentor, is now recognized by the Guinness Book of Records for the “Longest Career in Sports Broadcasting” — 73 years and counting! Impossible. Bob just turned 69.