I recently had a baby, and my husband is ready to start having sex again. But I’m just not feeling it yet — physically and emotionally. What can I do to get my sexy back?
Anonymous
I can’t say that I blame him since I’m sure the last few months of your pregnancy you may not have been able to have intercourse, but I also don’t blame you for being hesitant. Not only did you just push something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a plum, but you’ve got a crying, pooping, breast-feeding newborn to deal with. Hello, sleep deprivation? How could you be horny?
But first thing’s first: Make sure you check with your doctor about when it’s physically safe for you to start doing the deed again. It’s different for everyone depending upon how you gave birth — vaginally or C-section.
Now, once you’ve been given the green light, the next thing to do is rebuild your self-confidence. Get to the gym so you can get your post-baby body back into some sexy clothes and lingerie. It’s not easy gaining extra baby weight, so I can understand if that’s partly why you’re “not feeling” it. (Of course, if your husband’s a good man, he’ll love you even more now that you’ve given birth to his child and it won’t matter what you look like — especially if it’s been awhile!) He needs to be sympathetic to what your body and mind just went through!
Once you start seeing even a little bit of progress, trust me, you’ll be the one to start ripping his clothes off. Until then, you still have a perfectly good mouth that should hold him off for a little while!
I’m a professional woman, and I’ve fallen for a guy without a career. He’s “in a band.” Do I go with my heart or my head?
Anonymous
First, ask yourself whether you can fully support his dream. Because if you think he’s talentless, then yes, I do think that getting involved with him would be bad for the both of you, in which case, go with your head.
But if you really believe that he has it, and you like him enough to be supportive of him going after it, then why not? If you’re a professional woman and not hung up on stereotypical gender roles, then I see no big deal here.
Now, also keep in mind that it’s hard to make it. If he does, the sacrifice he’ll have to make to see his dream through will be a huge burden on the both of you. So even if you believe in him, you also have to be willing to share him with his passion — and fans.
That said, it’s not unheard of for a rock star to stand by his woman while touring the world and having groupies toss their ta-tas in his face. Look at Alison Hewson, the wife of Bono. She met him in school when they were 15 years old, stood by him and they’ve stayed together all these years through U2’s massive worldwide success. It’s a true test of both love and commitment.
So you just have to ask yourself, as a hard-core business woman: Do you believe in this man?
Me? I always go with my heart over my head. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, but at the end of the day, I’m following it, something most people are too scared to do. Good luck!
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