For most of their 35 NBA seasons in New Jersey, the Nets were the butt of every joke about pathetic. Look up “wretched” in the dictionary, see the Nets logo. “Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be Nets …” Real knee-slapper stuff.
Then came a single trade, for Jason Kidd. In meteoric fashion, the Nets became two-time NBA finalists and, despite local apologists, dominated area basketball. The future was brighter than a noonday sun.
Then the team was sold. “Championship aspirations” were replaced by “penny-pinching measures.” Who needs scouts, anyway?
The plunge was as frightfully quick as the rise was head-spinning rapid. It bottomed out in 2009-10 in a historically inept 12-70 season. But under Russian billionaire owner Mikhail Prokhorov, the Nets hope for a rebirth. In Brooklyn.
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The Nets are crossing the Hudson River forever, making Monday’s meeting with the Sixers in Newark the final regular season game in the history of the “New Jersey” Nets.
There were so many lows: Milt Palacio hitting a miraculous shot off a Net (what else?) screw-up; 1985 draft pick Yvon Joseph, said to have stone hands, dropping his playbook; Jason Kidd’s migraine; Bubbles Hawkins drinking too much and upchucking on coach Kevin Loughery during a bumpy flight; hostile home crowds; coach Bill Fitch announcing during Kenny Anderson’s signing press conference that ownership “made a horse[spit] decision”; Chris Dudley’s 1-of-18 free-throw game; trying to lure Wilt Chamberlain out of retirement at age 49; Dennis Hopson, Yinka Dare.
There were highs. The whole Kidd Era; rebounding to beat Boston after history’s biggest playoff collapse — blowing a 21-point fourth quarter lead — in the Game 3 of the 2002 Eastern Finals; Coleman’s one-man gang act to get the ’93 first-round series against Cleveland to five games; Buck Williams’ brilliance; the 11-game winning streak in 1982-83 that including beating the Lakers on national TV; Vince Carter’s buzzer beater against the Raptors in Toronto; Lawrence Frank’s 13-0 coaching start.
Now memories must be made in Brooklyn. But here’s one final look back at some of the highest highs and lowest lows. In no particular order:
THE HIGHS
1984 playoffs — Postseason life before Kidd.
Before 2002, the Nets won just one playoff series in their history. But what a win. In 1984, the Nets upset the defending champ Sixers, 3-2, in the first round. The oddity: The home team lost every game. That prompted Mike Gminski’s memorable line, “There’s no place like away.”
1992 — Prime Chuck
In their never-ending search for legitimacy, the Nets landed two-time NBA champion and Olympic Dream Team coach Chuck Daly. He brought instant credibility, stability – and two playoff appearances in 1992 and 1993.
April 19, 1998 — Win and get In. And they won.
After losing three straight games, the Nets had to beat Detroit to make the playoffs. And they did, posting a 114-101 victory to finish 43-39, end a three-year postseason drought and earn the right to be swept by Michael Jordan’s Bulls.
2000 Draft — Not MegaMillions, but still a lottery win
The 1999-2000 Nets stumbled home at 31-51 and should have picked seventh, by record. But their luck held and, in a weak draft, they won the lottery and got the top pick, landing a legit star, Kenyon Martin, integral in two Finals runs.
Summer 2001 — The Brinks Job, via trade.
A domestic abuse charge made Kidd expendable to Phoenix. Desperation and a desire to upgrade made him desirable to the Nets, who stole their greatest player (with Chris Dudley) for Stephon Marbury, Johnny Newman and Soumaila Samake. Kidd transformed the franchise.
May 2, 2002 — The Greatest Game
Arguably the best pro game ever at the Meadowlands, the Nets’ 120-109 double-OT first-round Game 5 victory over Reggie Miller and Indiana validated the season. Miller banked a 39-footer for OT, dunked to force another OT. Then Kidd took over. “It’ll be on Classic Sports tomorrow,” Aaron Williams predicted.
2002-03 — Finally. Twice.
After being snubbed and abused in every circle for so long, the Nets broke out and, behind Kidd and a team built on defense and speed, went to the Finals in back to back years. But there wasn’t a real happy ending: the Lakers swept them in ’02, the Spurs needed six game to beat them in ’03.
Dec. 17, 2004 — Vinsanity, Jersey style.
The season was shaping up as one to forget when the Nets traded for superstar Vince Carter. They surrendered two first-round picks, unhappy center Alonzo Mourning and forwards Aaron and Eric Williams. The Nets went 35-24 after the trade and made the playoffs. VC averaged 23.4 ppg in five Nets seasons.
Spring 2010 — From Russia with money. Lots of money.
With legal fees draining owner Bruce Ratner, the Nets were operating on a shoestring budget. Relocation appeared an option. Finally, Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov bought the team.
Feb. 23, 2011 — Trade with an asterisk
After the franchise and fans were drained in a nine-month Melodrama, the Nets recouped from losing Carmelo Anthony by acquiring another superstar, Deron Williams. Williams’ future, though, is unclear and if he bolts through free agency, this high becomes a low.
THE LOWS
1977 — Steep price to pay
With the ABA-NBA merger, the Knicks demanded $4.8 million for the Nets entering their turf. After a contract dispute with his star, owner Roy Boe sold Julius Erving to Philadelphia for $3 million, nearly sinking the franchise.
April 1983 — Incriminating Evidence
With the Nets six games from the end of the season, rumors surfaced about coach Larry Brown bolting for Kansas. Brown said he never visited the school. But as luggage for a road trip was being loaded, Nets brass found claim checks — from a Kansas airport — on Brown’s suitcase. Owner Joe Taub fired him at Newark Airport.
June 19-20, 1985 — Maybe. Yes. No.
Nets hierarchy went to bed thinking Villanova’s Rollie Massimino would be the next coach. The caterer was set, the press conference scheduled. But at 3 a.m., Massimino said no after failing to gain several contract concessions, including a larger daily meal per diem.
1986-88 — Drugs countered the culture
Among several incidents, two stood out. On Feb. 25, 1986, Micheal Ray Richardson became the first player banned for life from the NBA for a third drug strike. In 1987-88, Orlando Woolridge was suspended by the NBA for violating the drug policy. It later was determined coach Dave Wohl reported Woolridge to ownership but nothing was done.
June 8, 1993 — Drazen’s Death
One of the Nets savviest trades ever landed from Portland Drazen Petrovic, a silky-shooting, trash-talking All-NBA guard who essentially was the first major Euro star. But Petrovic was killed in Germany in an auto accident on a rain-slick highway.
December 1994 — Not what he said but how he said it.
Angry at being benched by coach Butch Beard, team co-captain Kenny Anderson went AWOL from practice. The resulting fuss infuriated teammate Derrick Coleman, who waved off suggestions of an apology. He is a leader, someone suggested. “So what?” Coleman shot back. “Whoop-de-damn-doo.”
1994 & 1999 — Magic Marker Messaging
Before a game early in the 1999-2000 season, Stephon Marbury wrote “33 All Alone” on his ankle tape, causing team brass to turn purple. And in his final season with the Nets, 1994-95, Chris Morris wrote “Trade Me” on one sneaker, “Please” on the other.
March 15, 1999 — Haven’t vacated the wins. Yet
The Nets learned to take the bad with the good with the hiring of John Calipari who produced a playoff team but also a major firestorm by calling a reporter a “[bleeping] Mexican idiot” while arguing with another writer. Calipari’s firing was unduly messy, featuring an absurd walk around Miami Arena by owner Lewis Katz.
April 1, 1999 — The worst break
In the first year of a six-year, $90 million contract, Jayson Williams collided with Stephon Marbury, suffering a horribly broken leg that ended his career. Williams officially retired a year later.
2009-2010 — Lowest of the low
It never was worse than in when the Nets finished 12-70, avoiding the worst record in NBA history by three wins. Lawrence Frank was fired after an 0-16 start, assistant Tom Barrise took a hit for two defeats and then Kiki Vandeweghe finished 12-52 and was fired. The 0-18 start was the NBA’s worst ever.
fred.kerber@nypost.com