NBA

Rondo-bout isn’t fair play

Play along (sing, if you like) with me for minute.

Rajon Rondo’s ejection from Game 1 of the Celtics-Hawks series for taking in vain the name of Marc Davis and consequent one-game suspension for Game 2 for doin’ the bump with the supercilious referee, took me back to April 9, 1996 when Nick Van Exel — currently on Atlanta’s coaching staff — pushed official Ronnie Garretson onto the scorer’s table … and over it.

For his trouble, the Lakers’ pack leader was docked seven games and fined 25-large. Magic Johnson, back on active duty (32 games) after four years in retirement due to (HIV-positive) illness, lauded the league and then-VP of Violence Rod Thorn for his decision.

Sermonized Magic: “Nick is going to have to learn from that.”

All of five days later, guess who manhandled whistleblower Scott Foster, on national TV, no less, and earned three games off without pay, plus a $10,000 fine?

You’ve got to give ABC/ESPN credit. Once again, the nitworks have that certain someone on the payroll who’s overly qualified to speak out of both sides of his pie hole on such a newsworthy (see Dwight Howard’s failed coup d’état of coach Stan Van Gundy) subject.

During the Heat’s Game 1 demolition of the Knicks, reader Arnold Keith sent this text:

“The refs need the discretion to call a technical when they believe a player flops. Especially when they flop and/or fake an injury, whether it be [Jared] Jeffries, [Derek] Jeter or Jorge [Posada]. This BS ‘gamesmanship’ is cheating on a higher level than using PEDs. It’s cheating. It goes to the integrity of the game. No young athlete should be taught to ‘sell’ a play. It’s cheating. To see arguably the best players in their respective games cheating bugs the hell out of me.

“The ‘gamesmanship’ argument does not work for me. Whether it’s LeBron [James], [Jeremy] Lin or Jeter, it’s not right. Watching these guys flail about faking whatever is worse than seeing guys juiced up playing as hard as they can. Something has to be done to discourage cheating.”

I call that preaching to the preacher. I’m down with everything Keith espouses.

Nevertheless, I wasn’t vaguely convinced it was a lounge act when Tyson Chandler’s silent-and-violent pick (that earned him a flagrant one foul) purportedly sent LeBron flip-floppin’ like a Mitt Romney position paper.

In fact, if I were Dean of Discipline Stu Jackson, I would have upgraded the dangerous forward moving mugging a flagrant two. I deemed it dirty, malicious, vindictive and premeditated. Had Chandler hit LeBron a little higher and a litter harder, he could have damaged him the same way Metta World War damaged James Harden.

Keith and numerous other readers, not necessarily just Knicks fans, ahem, heatedly disagreed. Several of them claimed flopping has become standard operation procedure for LeBron, alleging two previous embellishments regarding contact with Chandler and J.R. Smith.

They were so passionate I felt obliged to reach out to those getting paid to recognize such routines, you know, real NBA refs with valued objectivity. Their consensus opinion knocked me off my swivel chair, no play acting.

“It’s very unusual for a superstar to flop,” one zebra said. “Not only does LeBron do it, he’s the worst offender of any superstar I’ve ever seen.”

Flopping apparently began creeping into LeBron’s repertoire about a month ago, those consulted believe, though they were quick to remove the Chandler incident from their indictment; none questioned its illegitimacy or LeBron’s pained response.

“I don’t really understand it,” one ref said. “It’s usually beneath superstars. They don’t want anybody to know they can be pushed around or bowled over.”

Particularly in light of the widespread belief that superstarlets already get all the benefits from the barristers.

* On the other hand, the unfeigned flops in Game 1 was Mike Woodson — whose Hawks and Knicks teams, prior to last night, were minus 134 points in their last five playoff games — and Carmelo Anthony.

My cats throw up nicer-looking hair balls than the 12 of 15 shots he dry heaved.

By the way, surely the Knicks can’t be serious about inserting Jeremy Lin into the playoff passion pit on a weak knee. Surely someone in authority must have a faint recollection of how the Heat asphyxiated him defensively when he was fully functioning.

“The Knicks need to understand there is no way they can beat Miami with Iman Shumpert injured, Jared Jeffries hurting and Amar’e Stoudemire no longer requiring a double team,” says column contraire Phillip Marmanillo. “Knicks fans would prefer a healthy Lin and Shump to be the backcourt of the future and not see it destroyed trying to win a playoff game.”

Column contributor Tim Crowe wonders what the suspension would have been “if David Stern knew Metta and Ron Artest were the same person?”

Metta’s wild ’bow serves to confirm what we’ve really always known, you can change your name, fingerprints and sex, but, in the final analysis, your core never changes.

I must confess, I’m usually dumbfounded, but now it’s with purpose regarding all the geniuses that insist on using the word “seed” in relation to playoff position. As the Department of Agriculture is quick to point out, the postseason is not planting season. “Seeds” are given — a la the NCAA tournament — while NBA playoff teams are ranked in their respective conferences.

I’m sure this remedial class will be reconvened repeatedly in future columns.