I applied for an internal transfer and didn’t get it and now my boss treats me differently, like I’m disloyal. I just wanted to explore a new possibility, and now I feel like I’m being penalized.
You first have to analyze how much of this, if any, is you projecting. (I love to play pop psychologist.) I’ve seen employees fearful of even attempting to transfer out of unwarranted concern, and others who created a self-fulfilling prophecy by acting differently themselves, causing their boss to have a negative reaction, then blaming their boss for reacting to their actions. (See, Freud’s got nothin’ on me.)
Of course, there are bosses who do get miffed and question a worker’s commitment. Prevention is the best medicine, so ideally you’d have an open, honest conversation before the process starts. But that doesn’t mean you can’t remedy things afterwards.
Talk to your boss. Explain that all workers periodically check into what new challenges are out there and that this is all you were doing. It could be a catalyst for a talk about how to expand your current job. And a reassuring word that it’s not personal and that you remain committed never hurts. The best bosses recognize that it is part of their job to mentor their staff, which means not expecting to hold on to them like they are property.
My co-workers don’t seem to like me, and I don’t know why. I’m friendly but I just don’t play the politics game. Any thoughts on how to connect better?
I’ve been asked a similar question for years, starting with little Jimmy in kindergarten, who ate worms and wondered why he was an outcast at yard time.
The workplace can be an intense social experiment, with more at stake than just who’s friends with whom. It’s been my experience, though, that if everyone gets along but you, then you’re likely doing something that’s causing people to keep their distance. Try looking in the mirror and being objective about what signals you send.
That doesn’t mean you have to change who you are — maybe the culture just isn’t a good fit for you. But if you eat worms . . .