Entertainment

For laughs, ‘Jeopardy!’ can’t be beat

Say it ain’t so! Alex Trebek, 71, last week hinted that he’s leaning toward retirement, that he’ll soon ask his last question in the form of an answer.

That would be a shame, given that “Jeopardy!,” on Trebek’s 28-year watch, has not only been a quality quiz show, but the most underrated and underappreciated comedy in TV history.

Comedy? Absolutely.

It’s seen and heard every show, right after the first commercials, when Trebek chats up the contestants. Goes something like this:

“Dr. Richard Drumgoole, a UCLA paleontologist whose team recently unearthed bones suggesting that there may in fact have been a horse-like animal that resembles the unicorn.

“Richard, I understand that you have an interesting hobby.”

“Yes, Alex, I enjoy cooking.”

“Any particular favorites?”

“Nothing fancy, Alex. Hamburgers, turkey burgers, chicken burgers, just about anything that can be flattened into a patty.”

“Well, let’s hope you’re cooking tonight. Good luck to you.

“Next, Mrs. Dorothy Egbert, a fourth-generation gold prospector from Casselton, North Dakota. Welcome, Dorothy.”

“Thank you, Alex.”

“So, when you’re not panning mountain streams for gold, what do you do to relax?”

“I enjoy knitting, Alex. Sweaters, scarves, wool hats. The usual. ”

“I bet those come in handy on those cold days and nights in North Dakota.”

“They certainly do, Alex.”

“And our returning champion, Arthur Dokes, a highly decorated Coast Guard captain from San Diego, who specializes in deep sea rescues.

“It reads here, captain, that you recently had a chance encounter with a celebrity.”

“Yes, Alex. I was in a hotel elevator when it stopped, and in walked Tim Conway.”

“Tim Conway! One of our favorites. Did the two of you chat?”

“Well, no, Alex. Actually, he was busy talking to the person he got into the elevator with. I don’t think he even noticed me.”

“I guess the lesson here is that when an elevator door opens, you never know who is going to be there!”

“You’ve got that right, Alex.”

It’s the longest-running comedy segment on TV. Long may she run!

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CORPORATE-controlled local and national newscasts have created such bad faith with intelligent viewers that they can no longer distinguish real news from the bogus stuff.

Two Fridays ago, NBC news anchor Brian Williams reported that a flash of bad weather that afternoon sent thousands of people scurrying for cover in Kentucky.

Specifically, Louisville, Ky. Specifically, those people gathered on the infield at Churchill Downs for the annual running of the Kentucky Oaks, a big horse race held the day before the Kentucky Derby.

Williams concluded this report with word that the Kentucky Derby would be seen the next day — on NBC.

So what was NBC News’ intent here? To report or promote? Was Williams serving as a newsman or a pitchman? Did the news drive the advertisement, or the advertisement drive the news?

Would this story have even made NBC’s news cut had the derby been televised by another network?

* * *

CAN money buy absolution? Apparently, it’s worth a shot.

Linda McMahon, Republican candidate from Connecticut for the US Senate and the Queen of TV Sleaze as the wife and partner of pro wrestling’s King of TV Sleaze, Vince McMahon, donated $5 million to Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Conn. Mrs. McMahon has been on the school’s board of trustees since 2004.

In return, Sacred Heart last month named its new student commons building the Linda McMahon Commons.

Perhaps the new commons has a video room, where students can view the McMahons’ most popular wrestling shows, including the shot-from-bare-behind chainsaw castration scene and the one in which a WWE wrestler discovers that the woman performing fellatio on him is a man.