TWO STEP: Sutton Foster plays a Vegas showgirl-turned-ballet instructor in “Bunheads.” (
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Dance is the new Bayou.
For several years, viewers couldn’t get enough Jersey—the slimier the better— until we found something even slimier. That would be the swamps of Louisiana.
But since history always repeats itself, we’re slowly crawling out of the swamps and standing upright again. But really, who knew standing upright would lead to dancing?
Lots and lots of dancing— which is now as surefire a ratings maker as peeing on the floor in a New Jersey bar used to be.
Think how that raging tub, Abby Miller and “Dance Moms,” has exploded. Or what about “Dancing With the Stars?” Who could have imagined that a bunch of bottom-of-the-D-list has-beens would win the ratings war night after night and cause networks to clone competition dance shows?
Now from Amy Sherman-Palladino, the creator of the “Gilmore Girls,” comes “Bunheads” on ABC Family, about a small-time ballet studio, and guess what? It’s the best dance show on TV.
For one thing, it’s scripted, which makes it much more real-life than “Dance Moms,” with all its insane, vile drama and dancing near-child abuse.
“Bunheads” is so unexpected and charming that watching the premiere feels like the first time you ever saw, say, “Six Feet Under.” It just feels like nothing else you’ve seen on TV.
The story revolves around Michelle Sims (Sutton Foster), a Las Vegas show girl with a wise-ass mouth. She wants to be more, having studied at the American Ballet Theatre. But the money was better in Vegas, and somehow the years went by and she’s not 25 anymore.
When an audition for “Chicago” falls flat, she ends up going out and getting drunk with her creepy-stage-door Johnny fan, Hubbell (Alan Ruck). Normally, she avoids the shoe salesman every time he comes to town and foists him off on her pals and sneaks out.
But Hubbell happens to be there the day she is denied the “Chicago” audition (she’s not 25, remember?), so she gets hammered with him, and the next thing you know, she’s telling him that her career stinks and that she lives next to an old, banged-up hooker. He tells her about his small town (Paradise) and his house on the ocean and how he’d take care of her forever. Normally disgusted by him, somehow they end up getting married in a drunken haze.
Cut to small-town California. The house is indeed on the ocean—but it’s filled top to bottom with thousands of creepy dolls and ceramic tchotchkes that belong to — yes! —his mother!
“You live with your mother like a serial killer?” Michelle screeches at Hubbell.
His mother, Fanny, played by the gloriously snappy Kelly Bishop, is a former lead dancer with the Ballet Russe. Mom rules the roost and runs a ballet studio on the property where she teaches, yes, “bunheads”— a slang term for ballet dancers.
The women hate one another immediately, the students have their own issues and Hubbell, well, as creepy as he is and as creepy as it all is, sure can kiss.
But oh, Hubbell! What a shock you (and the viewers) have got coming.