Red-hot Mets knuckleballer R.A. Dickey took a swing at some questions from Post columnist Steve Serby in a Q&A session.
Q: Describe the perfect knuckleball.
A: I think it’s beyond definition, to be honest. What I strive to do, in my image of a perfect knuckleball, is to have a ball that doesn’t spin much — maybe an eighth of a rotation forward. And you know it’s right when it leaves your hand, and you’re able to repeat that one over and over again. And the time it leaves your hand till the time it gets to catcher’s mitt, it’s moved three or four times with depth and lateral movement. But repeating that is the hard thing. It’s almost an oxymoron to say that there’s a perfect knuckleball, ’cause they all do something different. And that’s part of the process of learning what a perfect knuckleball is … that you have to let go of what it’s going to do once you release it.
Q: Let’s say you throw 100 pitches. How many of them do you know now it’s going to be a good knuckleball?
A: On an average day out of 100 pitches, I know that probably 70-75 are gonna be pretty good. The other 25, I hope I get away with, or throw for balls.
Q: The funniest thing you’ve heard a hitter say to you either during a game or the next time you see him?
A: Well, the funniest thing I’ve heard isn’t as funny as the funniest thing I’ve seen. The funniest thing I’ve seen was someone swing at a knuckleball and it actually hit him in the chest. I don’t laugh in the moment, but in retrospect, I’ll giggle once or twice.
Q: What was his reaction when that happened?
A: I think embarrassment probably a little more than anything. But if you catch it on a good night — like the other night for instance in Tampa, you can look on the hitters’ faces, and they’ll tell you everything — their expressions, or what they might murmur to the catcher. … If they happen to get to first base, they’ll say something to Ike [Davis]. That’s good feedback to have.
Q; Is catcher Josh Thole going to end up in therapy trying to catch the knuckleball?
A: (Laugh). No, I’ve been real blessed. Both of those guys in there, [Mike] Nickeas and Thole both are really capable and can do it well. That’s not always the case. I’ve had some guys that just blatantly haven’t wanted to catch it. And so, to have a couple of guys that not only catch it but are up for the challenge and really accept it as that, has been a real blessing.
Q: How would you explain what you’re doing right now on the mound?
A: I don’t spend much time trying to explain it, so I really don’t know. I just try to be in the moment with every pitch, and the results are the results. I didn’t try less hard last year, the year before, the year before that. The ball’s moving well, and I’m consistent with it. … That’s most of the reason.
Q: Is it ironic that of all the places you could emerge as a “star,” it’s New York. Could you ever have imagined that?
A: No. I think it makes the narrative pretty awesome, because there was a time early in my career when I came through with the Rangers playing the Yankees, I thought to myself, “I don’t know if I could make it here.” I come from Nashville, Tenn., which is a lot slower pace. I just remember thinking, “Gosh, this is a big stage.” Not only on the field, but off. And the way that it’s happened has been neat because it’s really required a lot of growth on my part, to embrace the city and the culture, and the way that things are done here is a little bit different than the way they’re done everywhere else.
Q: How so?
A: The media, the way that everything is so sensationalized, the papers, the attention … just the stage is the biggest in the world, and you have to be able to hold that well. And secondly, just the logistics of getting a family of four around, six if you count my wife and I … trying to do that well. … It’s a lot.
Q: At the All-Star Game, do you plan on getting autographs?
A: (Chuckle) Well, we’ll see. … I don’t think about it much. But that’s not why I’m going there, that’s for sure … if I am going there.
Q: Oh, you’ll be going there.
A: We’ll see (smile).
Q: What would it mean to you?
A: That’s the cliche, is it would be a realization of a dream. But at the same time, I think it would be, more than a cliche, I think it would be evidence supporting the fact that I throw a pitch that’s very legitimate. And you fight that for a long time as a knuckleballer, ’cause a lot of people don’t take you seriously ’cause the way you throw it … but getting to that place, if you were to get to the All-Star Game, it would be special in that sense, that it would be viewed as a legitimate thing.
Q: Can you get better?
A: Yes, I feel like I can. And better by your standards is probably different than better by my standards. Better by your standards would be statistically better, I would think, as a member of the media. Better for me – if there’s 75 out of 100 pitches that I throw that are just right, there’s an extra 25 percent I can better at. And that might not manifest in putting up zeroes all the time, because baseball’s baseball, strange things happen. But I’m certainly open to the fact that I can improve.
Q: You’re very defensive, or proud may be the right word, about your knuckleball.
A: I think there’s a lot of misunderstandings about it. A lot of times I think it gets a bad rap as far as the unpredictability goes, and the fact that people don’t feel like it’s a trustworthy pitch. So, I wouldn’t say I’m apologetic as far as the pitch is concerned, but I certainly hope that my performance will lend itself to people giving it more of a shot.
Q: What advice would you give Little Leaguers or kids who want to become R.A. Dickey?
A: Well, I think that requires much more than a pitch. The knuckleball I turned to because I wanted to keep playing professional baseball, and I wasn’t playing very well in the other capacity as a conventional pitcher. If someone wanted to throw it, I would certainly teach ’em to, and tell ’em the right way to do it. And if they wanted to use it as a changeup or something, I would certainly encourage that. For someone who wanted to play in the major leagues, because of the way that the game is designed now, nobody’s going out looking for the next Hoyt Wilhelm. They’re all going out looking for the next Stephen Strasburg.
Q: What is unique about your knuckleball?
A: I think probably the pace. The velocity of it is probably a little bit harder than a traditional knuckleball.
Q: What’s it like being a celebrity?
A: (Smile) I don’t think I’m a celebrity. … I’ll fight that till I get out of here because I just want to be me.
Q: Aren’t you recognized now?
A: I still take public transportation, and nobody recognizes me. I think in order to get to celebrity status, the over-under is at least 25 people, right (smile)? I’m at about one or two.
Q: How cathartic was writing your book, “Wherever I Wind Up”?
A: It was very therapeutic. I think I ran from the truth for a long time, and then I got the equipment to process through some things that were difficult. I felt like I gained a lot of freedom from that. I think it’s carried over to my career as well.
Q: Do you hope that you’ve touched the lives of victims of sexual abuse with your own revelations, as an 8-year-old by a female babysitter multiple times and separately a male teenager, in the book?
A: Yeah. … The one thing that you feel more than anything is alone … loneliness, in that place. And so, if I’ve done anything, I hope it’s to help people understands regardless off their age or their experience with abuse, to know that they’re not alone. And to know that there are people out there that can really help with what they’re going through. ’Cause that’s the other lie that’s perpetrated, is you don’t feel like anybody will ever understand. And if I have communicated that that’s not true, then that will have been a victory.
Q: Are you proud that you’ll be an inspiration to a lot of people?
A: I don’t know if proud’s the word. I think thankful is more the word. I’m glad to be able to see that the way my story has unfolded will help impact other people. I’m thankful that it’s got a purpose, you know? It’s certainly been rewarding to hear the feedback and the people who shared similar stories. And it’s been a real confirmation that the risk was worth taking. … It’s been neat to be able to create a forum where it’s OK to talk about things that are hard.
Q: Do you have fears now?
A: Sure. Every day. I fear that I won’t be the kind of father I need to be. I have a lot of fears, and they mostly surround my inadequacies as a human being. And the difference between what I want to be, and what I actually am.
Q: Sounds like you want to be the perfect human being.
A: No, not perfect. Just authentic. I want to be real, and honest. And so, there are times that I feel like I’m not that. I want to be better. I want to do it better. I want to teach my kids to do it differently than I did it.
Q: Your thoughts on the Jerry Sandusky trial?
A: I certainly ache for the victims. I can certainly empathize with the victims. A part of me is curious about Jerry’s own story. As the perpetrator of the alleged crimes, what his story says. Because a lot of times, the perpetrators were victims in their own lives. … It’s a sad thing all around, so I feel sadness for the victims. I feel sadness for the whole thing.
Q: It took you a long time to like yourself — suicidal thoughts at one point. Why do you like yourself now?
A: I like myself because I enjoy growth. I feel like I’ve got the aptitude to learn more things. I like that about myself, that I can be honest with what I’m not good at, and try to get better. Or if not getting better, at least I’m honest with what I’m not good at.
Q: When do you think you started liking yourself?
A: I think late 2009, 2010. I really started to kinda embrace who I was, warts and all, mistakes and all. I really felt like I legitimately had something to offer, not only my wife, but to my kids, my friends and teammates.
Q: Talk about your four children. Start with the oldest, Gabriel, 10.
A: Gabriel is very cerebral. She’s a big reader. She loves to write, she loves imagination and things that require imagination. And she’s a first born, she’s had it good (smile. We spoil her pretty good, but she doesn’t necessarily act that way.
Q: Lila Anne.
A: Come June 21 she’ll be 9. She’s an athlete, and loves to participate in anything that requires athletic ability — whether it’s running, or throwing, or basketball. … She’ll throw the football with me. She likes to wrestle. I wouldn’t say she’s a tomboy, but she’s right there on the edge (smile). She also loves horses … roller coasters … she loves to read, but not as much as Gabe.
Q: Eli.
A: He’ll be 6 Aug. 15, and he’s all-boy (smile). He likes to wrestle, and roughhouse and explore. He’s a tender kid, but he can be ornery, and I like that somewhat.
Q: The baby.
A: Van is 1-year old. He just wants to be included (smile). He follows us around, and wants to be part of the thing. He’s real mellow, and he’s not real high maintenance. He’s great.
Q: Does Eli play baseball?
A: He plays Coach-Pitch, yeah. It’s a league where if you swing and miss three times, then they put it on a tee and you can whack it. He likes it, but I don’t pressure him into playing anything. If he likes it he likes it. If he doesn’t, that’s OK too. He takes wrestling and karate, so he likes activity. He’s not necessarily drawn to one right now.
Q: Can you envision yourself teaching him the knuckleball one day?
A: Sure. He knows how to throw it now. His hands aren’t big enough, but he knows the grip.
Q: Describe your wife Anne.
A: She’s spontaneous. … She is a very godly woman, a very forgiving woman. … There’s something in her that I really respect. It’s almost like a fighter, and she’s a fighter. I remember thinking that it was time for me to give it up, and she wouldn’t let me, like didn’t want me to have any regrets, like she was one of the reasons I kept going, just because she said, “You’re gonna regret this if you let it go right now.” … She knows the worst things about me and loves me despite those things. … That’s a pretty special relationship.
Q: Are you afraid to pinch yourself?
A: No, no. I think that’s one of the beauties about having grown as a human being, and I think that’s one of the things that helps sustain it is I don’t believe that it’s a dream. I believe that it’s a culmination of a lot hard work and a lot of people who poured into me and a lot of dedication. So If you believe that that’s the reason that you’re where you are, then that’s not a dream at all.
Q: Would welcome a closer relationship with your father?
A: I’m hopeful for a deeper relationship with him. I certainly know that that takes time. As of this moment, our relationship hasn’t changed.
Q: You haven’t spoken to him in a while?
A; Well I probably spoke to him a couple of weeks ago, a short conversation on the phone, but we don’t talk regularly. There have been seasons of our lives where we talked more on the phone.
Q: Will you call him this Sunday?
A: Yeah, absolutely. I still desire a relationship with my father, certainly, and will call him on Father’s Day, absolutely.
steve.serby@nypost.com