Business

Will K&K kiss & split?

From white veil to red carpet, newly married Kim Kardashian — who is headed for the big screen in “The Marriage Counselor” — is making star tracks, and the top celeb glossies are doing their best to keep up.

US Weekly
’s Eric Anderson dissects the marriage to third-tier NBA pro Kris Humphries and uncovers what appears to be some real issues. In a nut shell: she’s neat, he’s messy; she’s city, he’s country and she’s spendy, he’s thrifty. Most shocking revelation: sister Khloe Kardashian’s nickname for Kris is “Dog,” reason unknown. It’s hard to feel sorry for Kim who’s life in the spotlight is helping her rake in millions, but we do feel sorry for New Jersey Net Kris, who has been locked out to start the NBA season. In the latest issue’s, “When Celebrities Attack,” feature it’s the Obama family versus guess who? The Kardashians.

If it’s the K&K story you’re looking for, People offers only fluff. That’s probably because the rumors about an imminent breakup is full of air, but the mag would have done better to address the ridiculousness of them growing apart after only two months. Instead, they quote sources and Kim’s family members saying things like, “They’ve been a bit distant lately,” and “It’s a work in progress.” Please. It’s been two months, People. Better is the gossip mag’s cover story on J.R. Martinez, the Iraqi soldier who suffered mutilating burns in an explosion, only to land a role in “All My Children,” and is now a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.”

Life and Style has a slightly meatier take on the breakup story, although it’s pretty evident from this account that there’s no there there. L+S says Kris hates the cameras invading every second of his life and “wants out of filming.” Apparently he has threatened to not appear in next season of “Keeping up With the Kardashians.” L+S also does a better job on the Demi Moore story, telling readers that the emaciated G.I. Jane actress has stopped eating and may have even started a new, dangerous diet that only allows her to consume 500 calories a day.

You might think that Kim’s marriage with pro basketball has a shot at success based on OK! magazine’s latest issue. The wedding-centric issue tells readers that Humphries is doing everything to stay in the good graces of his much wealthier and more well-known new wife. The mag also zeroes in on emaciated Demi (less effectively than L+S) and delivers a thumb-sucker on baby bumps, with gratuitous shots of celebs including Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson and Alanis Morissette in various states of being knocked up. One particular low point is a section that ranks the top 10 people “ruined by fame,” leading with deceased crooner Amy Winehouse. Ouch. And another highlights a Halloween edition of NBC reality show “The Sing-Off” as must-see TV. Really?

Gloria Steinem founded Ms. magazine 40 years ago as an insert inside the pages of New York, and this week’s retrospective reminds us just how radical her vision was. Sure, Alan Alda was commissioned in 1979 to disclose “What Every Woman Should Know About Men.” But the inaugural issue in spring 1972 — in which 53 women including Judy Colllins Susan Sontag and Billie Jean King disclosed that they’d had abortions — was a rather plangent battle cry, placed next to a feature titled “Can Women Love Women?”

While Ms. never achieved the mainstream, Tina Brown has been noticeably infusing the pages of Newsweek with profiles of plucky women and their plight, and to generally good effect. This week, we get profiles on a Saudi princess who tweets for women’s rights, a dramatic photo of Yemeni women burning their veils, and a feature about the 95-year-old widow of Israeli war hero Moshe Dayan. Oh, and Michelle Williams gets serious treatment for playing Marilyn Monroe in the new movie, “My Week With Marilyn.”

Not to be outdone, Time slaps Hillary Clinton on its cover, heralding “the rise of smart power.” Inside, there’s a photo of Clinton aboard a C-17, looking like something out of “Dr. Strangelove.” She’s “on her way to meet with rebel leaders in Tripoli,” we’re told, as she studies a BlackBerry through dark sunglasses. One might suspect this article was done not so much with the cooperation of, but at the behest of the White House, which faces an electorate that appears insufficiently interested in international affairs as 2012 approaches.