Entertainment

‘Texas’ cookoff

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This season, “Top Chef” is trying to spice up the same old recipe by adding two new judges, Hugh Acheson, a former competitor on “Top Chef: Masters,” and Emeril Lagasse, the guy who made chubby TV chefs popular once again — bam!

The locale has also been moved to Texas, where 29 chefs from around the country will shoot it out (so to speak) at the Alamo. It’s kind of like having a bake-off at Ground Zero. It must be a Texas thing.

Anyway, tonight, the 29 chefs will begin to be winnowed down to 16 by the next episode.

READ MORE: WHAT’S COOKING FOR PAST ‘TOP CHEF’ WINNERS

There are the usual suspects: an out-of-work cook; the woman with the recently deceased dad and terrible breakup; the nasty, confident guy who is one step away from juggling the knives; the humble, big guy with the terrible past; and a nice mix of quietly great chefs.

Also, for no reason whatsoever, we’re told that this year some of the “biggest names in food, music and entertainment” will be featured. Like? Like Pee-wee Herman. Who knew he was interested in anything other than movie-theater popcorn?

But there’s something very compelling about “Top Chef,” and there always has been — even after eight seasons.

Yes, it still seems, er, fresh, and the addition of Lagasse is a good one. Acheson, on the other hand, is as lively as Padma Lakshmi, who is one step away from being the first woman in a gown to fall into a full coma in a professional kitchen.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not exciting. In fact, there are lots of interesting challenges this season.

Tonight, all the competitors have to cook a different part of a pig. Next week, everyone has to cook with the same main ingredient, and then each chef picks another ingredient they want to add — and then they find out how many minutes they each get to finish their meal. Hint: Even Gordon Ramsay couldn’t make perfect risotto in 40 minutes flat.

The chefs who pass muster get the jacket. A smaller group is told they have to compete again to make it to the top 16, while the rest are told to pack up their knives and hit the road. That’s like breaking up with someone and saying, “Get your loaded gun and get out!”

If you’re a vegetarian, I advise you to skip the next two episodes altogether — unless you want to see a pig butchered or learn how to cook skinned rabbit. It was like a cooking class from “Fatal Attraction.” I almost lost my carrots. If you are contemplating turning vegetarian, the decision will be made as soon as they pull off the bunny’s legs.

One dopey chef gloats as she presents her rabbit-with-chocolate dish to the judges, saying, “Who puts chocolate with rabbit?”

I know! I know! The Easter Bunny?