So there are the Pro Bowl Jets in Hawaii, doing the hula, these Lei Hey Kids — and there isn’t any other place they would rather be than Indianapolis, where there are no coconut trees, no glistening blue waters, no mai tais under a warm, golden sunshine … just the Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl Rex Ryan guaranteed the Jets would be playing in. The Super Bowl Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and the hated Patriots will be playing in instead.
The Super Bowl the Giants will be playing in.
The Super Bowl all of the Jets will be watching a week from tomorrow, though not at Santonio Holmes’ house, that much we know.
Big brother Peyton Manning gets to watch little brother Eli Manning try to win his second Super Bowl championship, and the big brother Jets (eye roll) get to watch the little brother Giants (yeah, right) try to win their fourth Super Bowl.
So next summer Ryan will be telling us he isn’t here to kiss Belichick’s four rings, or coach Tom Coughlin’s two rings.
And, oh, by the way, if you are 43 years old or younger and a Jets fan, you weren’t around the one and only time your team won a championship.
From Broadway Joe to Broadway No for you.
Ah, but think about what the Giants will be missing when they board their buses outside the Timex Performance Center on Monday morning for the ride to Newark Airport, where their United charter will be waiting to fly them to Big Blue heaven, and Super Bowl XLVI.
From our friends at Google:
Hawaii Luau: What could be better than spending an evening under the beautiful star-filled velvety dark tropical sky at a traditional Hawaiian luau? Actually meaning the green leafy portion of the Hawaiian staple food taro, the word luau is now a word to describe a party, and has become synonymous with fun, entertainment and delicious dining! Choose from a great variety of Hawaii’s most authentic luaus, and be prepared to be mesmerized by dancers and singers performing both traditional and modern Hawaiian songs and hulas, gasp in awe at the dexterous fire knife dancers, dive into authentic Hawaiian food cooked with Aloha, and so much more!
Tell all that to Darrelle Revis, Nick Mangold, Brandon Moore and D’Brickashaw Ferguson, who thought for sure they would be rehearsing answers for Media Day next Tuesday and gearing up for the first New York-New York Super Bowl, instead of gorging on roast pig somewhere on the island (certainly not Revis Island).
But, hey, maybe it’s a good thing they’re not, or did you miss the way Manning and Victor Cruz and Jason Pierre-Paul and Justin Tuck delivered that “Who’s Your Daddy?” butt-kicking at MetLife Stadium last month?
Maybe it’s a good thing they will be far, far away from some of the national media speculating wildlessly and aimlessly about Peyton coming to the Jets. Right! Wait a second, isn’t Brett Favre sick of the farm in Hattiesburg? Jenn Sterger would like to know (so she can join the Witness Protection Program if the Cellphone Gunslinger is).
It’s a shame Rex’s Jets fell apart at the seams at the very time Coughlin unified his Giants for their second Super Bowl run in four years. Imagine what kind of wig Ryan might have worn for Media Day. How would you like to be a fly on the wall Ryan has to watch Coughlin and the Giants shake hands with the president in the White House?
And that backpage photo … where’s Mark Sanchez? You mean to tell me the Sanchise wasn’t voted to the Pro Bowl? Is there no justice?
Well there’s still hope for a better tomorrow.
The NFC is a 4-point favorite over the AFC in the Pro Bowl. Maybe our Jets’ representatives can help the AFC pull off one of the biggest upsets since Super Bowl III!
Alas, our Jets can’t seem to rid themselves of the black cloud that follows them everywhere. Today’s Honolulu forecast? Rain.
J-E-T-S: Just Enjoy The Show.
The Eli Manning-Tom Brady Show.