Whether you thought Sunday’s Oscars was one of the worst ever, or if you thought it wasn’t so bad, like Seth MacFarlane’s dad, there’s no getting around the fact that the show had consequences for the stars who appeared. So whose stock is up after the telecast and whose is down?
UP
Anne Hathaway’s nipples
Two new stars burst onto the scene Sunday, and now they even have several parody Twitter accounts — including @HathawayNipple and @AHathawayNip. Their own agent and court-ordered emancipation from Hathaway is next.
Jennifer Lawrence
Her stumble as she walked onstage to accept Best Actress somehow made her seem more charming and relatable. Honestly, who among us, wearing that dress and being watched by millions, wouldn’t have done the same?
Jane Fonda’s plastic surgeon
The former workout queen looked amazing for 75. Heck, she looked amazing for 45.
Tommy Lee Jones
After acting like a total sourpuss through the entire Golden Globes (and through the past 20 years), Jones proved he’s genetically capable of smiling. Who knew?
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
Their phones have probably already rung about hosting next year’s Oscars. Their Globes performance set the new standard for broad-based funny.
DOWN
Renée Zellweger
The “Bridget Jones” star looked squinty-eyed and unsteady on her feet, like she’d been hitting the open bar a bit too hard. Someone call John Goodman’s character from “Flight” stat.
Mark Ruffalo
Standing beside the cast of “The Avengers,” Ruffalo looked less like the Hulk and more like Ant-Man. He managed to do the impossible: make other male actors in Hollywood look tall.
Steven Spielberg
So it turns out that Oscar voters, like kids in a school classroom, were only pretending to pay attention to the stuffy “Lincoln.” Good news: Next up for the director is a killer-robot movie.
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Mrs. Michael Douglas awkwardly shimmied atop a piano and appeared to badly lip-sync in the least relevant performance of the night. Was no one from “Rock of Ages” available?
Andy Griffith
What’s a star gotta do to be included in the “In Memorium” montage? Griffith, who passed away last July, was left out despite supplementing his more well-known TV work with theatrical films.