Tragic new details emerged today from the suicide note left by the mom who leaped eight stories to her death while clutching her infant son.
Cindy Bacharach, 45, jumped out a window from the family’s co-op apartment Wednesday afternoon with 10-month-old son Keston in her arms. She died instantly.
The baby survived by bouncing off his motionless mom’s chest upon impact.
In the rambling, largely incoherent note — scrawled on both sides of seven pieces of composition notebook paper — the Harlem attorney blamed herself for Keston’s phantom physical ailments.
The troubled mom wrote, “They don’t know what’s wrong with him. I know what’s wrong. I know he’s handicapped. I can’t stand myself,” a law enforcement source told The Post.
In the note, Bacharach said she dropped the young child, the source said. She also blamed herself for dropping him off a swing and was convinced that he suffered a concussion as a result of the fall.
While the child’s doctor said he did not have a concussion, Bacharach was convinced he did and that “it’s my fault.”
“I’m evil,” she wrote. “I love you so much, and I’m evil for what I did.”
Bacharach’s husband regrets leaving home after they fought that day, a relative told The Post yesterday.
“He’s going through it in his head and just wishes he could go back in time,” the relative said. “He wishes he’d never left.”
The Columbia-educated Bacharach, who did research for Manhattan Supreme Court justices, and her husband, Hal, a salesman, had had a blowup hours before.
Video surveillance from their residence at The Sutton shows him leaving their building to go to work.
Once a picture of normalcy, Cindy suffered from postpartum depression that spiraled into a psychotic decline, the relative said.
Hal, who remained with Keston yesterday at Harlem Hospital, struggled to contain his wife’s deepening despair, the relative said, but Cindy refused to take her anti-psychotic medication regularly or to attend her therapy sessions.
“Hal has been at a loss at how to deal with this,” said the relative. “She wouldn’t take her medication. She wouldn’t go to her appointments. She was basically out of control.
“He worried that she was sinking — but I don’t think he ever saw her capable of this.”
Neighbors said they had never before heard the couple argue. Police sources said that officers had never been called to their residence and that there was no history of domestic incidents.
Cindy, who had feared she would be unable to bear a child at her age, was elated when Keston arrived, the relative said.
Now Hal is beside himself with grief, according to his mother, Barbara Bacharach.
“He is overwhelmed,” she said. “This is so much to deal with.”