Consistently great “Breaking Bad,” is going off for good. Sort of. Let’s just call it a long goodbye.
Sunday night starts the beginning of the end of the series. This is the final season, or more accurately, this is what the producers are claiming is the final season.
But not to worry! The final season actually takes two seasons to complete — this summer and next — with a whole year between the first part of the finale season and the second.
“Breaking Bad’s” long goodbye is so long, in fact, it makes Barbra Streissand’s farewell tour look short.
Hey — it’s not easy to kill off a show that manages year after year to accomplish that rare blend of Hollywood darling and fan favorite.
Sunday night’s opener takes up where last season ended. Now, I realize that it’s practically impossible to write a review of the two episodes AMC sent out without giving away the store. Or, in this case, the crystal meth lab, but I’ll try.
It’s Walt’s (Bryan Cranston) birthday, and he’s alone having breakfast at Denny’s in New Hampshire. He even tries to turn down the free Denny’s birthday breakfast. He looks so dull that you might think that killer Walt of last season has gone back to dull and depressed teacher Walt of Season 1.
But you would be wrong. Walt, you see, is simply waiting for someone or something.
In short, now that Gus (Giancarlo Esposito) is a goner and Walt finds himself in worse shape financially than when he was a high school chemistry teacher with a fatal form of cancer, he’s in need of cash.
No way Walt is going back to dull and depressed after his slow slide into homicide and that quick descent into damnation.
Into the mix come Germans. Not just any Germans — but fast-food Germans who know a thing or two themselves about chemicals. Seriously, you didn’t think that Jalapeno Ranch flavor had any jalapeno or ranches in it, did you?
The German fast-food conglomerate, it turns out, wasn’t just dealing in quick schnitzel fixes, it was working with the recently exploded Gus.
Worse, Gus’ laptop, with video of Walt, Jesse (Aaron Paul) and even the late, great Gus’s own guy, Mike (Jonathan Banks), is now in the hands of the cops in the heavily guarded and tightly locked evidence room at the station.
Nothing Gus could ever have done to them could ruin them more than what he’s left behind.
The only solution is to get the laptop out of there — or something. They go for “something” and it really is.
The once-repressed Walt is now Preppy Scarface — frightening, but without Tony Montana’s frightening clichés — just his killer instinct.
THE LONG GOODBYES OF THE PAST YEAR
Even though the series finale of “Breaking Bad” is as prolonged as a Celine Dion farewell tour, it’s still part of a long year of goodbyes for series that stared in the 2000s.
“Desperate Housewives,” B
The Sunday night staple ended May 13 without loose ends. Everyone moved away from Wisteria Lane. Susan (Teri Hatcher) was the first to go, followed by Lynette (Felicity Huffman), Gaby (Eva Longoria) and Bree (Marcia Cross). They played one last poker game and a show that had lingered like a party guest who can’t take a hint faded out.
“House,” B
Producers must have had a hard time bringing this show to an end based on what they came up with. House (Hugh Laurie) fakes his own death and rides off into the sunset with his friend who is suffering from cancer. When he asks about his prognosis, House says, “Cancer’s boring.”
“Chuck,” C
“Chuck” was one of those shows everyone thought was canceled, even though it was always resuscitated at the last possible moment.
“The Closer,” incomplete
Kyra Sedgwick’s long goodbye saw her making way for a sequel to her hit series, “Major Crimes.”
“Damages,” incomplete
Glenn Close was not going out without one last fight. She battled her son for custody of his daughter and battled her rival in a case based on the life of Julian Assange.
“Weeds,” D
This series was funny and quirky for about two seasons, but then devolved to the point where it wasn’t believable, or funny.
—Robert Rorke