I wish all these phony reality- show singles who are looking to get married off like mail-order brides would just register with a marriage broker in the Ukraine – the mail-order bride capital of the world – and be done with it.
Instead, these reality-show losers take up the airwaves with their pathetic need for undeserved fame and unabashed need for a man – any man. The men are in it for the same reason – five seconds of fame and a chance to show off their pecs.
This time the man is Farmer Matt, who’s looking for a wife like I’m looking for another nose. But hey – it’s something to do other than rake hay or whatever he supposedly does all day. Matt is a third-generation farmer on a 2,000-acre spread, which seems to have no farm workers other than himself and he’s always sparkling clean.
Matt produces two products in surplus amounts: cheese and corn. And I’m not talking by-products of animal husbandry.
But at least he seems to be having fun. The women on the show are standard-issue reality show contestants – “city girls” looking to give up cappucino for cow pies. There’s the mean one, the shy one, etc. Right off, you know that the rotten one always gets to stay because she’ll provide the fireworks.
All of the sudden, everybody wants to be like “Apprentice” castoff Omarosa.
This time the part of Omarosa is played by a giant, tacky, chubbette named Josie who constantly tells the others that they are “low class.” She says “What? You think it’s easy to find five beauties like myself?” Tragically, yes. In any mall in the US of A.
The first challenge involves the “gals” running around like chickens without heads trying to catch terrified chickens and stuff them into tiny coops as they go off to slaughter. Nice. What a bunch of cow manure!
“Farmer Wants A Wife”
Tonight at 9 on The CW
1 cowpie