Business

AG advice: Round ’em up & slap ’em in cuffs

Eric Holder has apparently had a change of heart. And I want to document it before he changes it again.

Holder told Congress a while back that some companies — like those on Wall Street — are untouchable.

Too big to prosecute, he said.

That kind of attitude — as anyone with even the most rudimentary knowledge of a democratic society understands — flies in the face of the equal justice under the law that we profess to believe in.

I’ve already expressed my opinion about this: It’s this sort of nonsense that allows politically connected people and companies to feel safe from justice.

And it stinks.

But wait …

Now Holder has told the Wall Street Journal that “anybody who inflicted damage on our financial markets should not be of the belief that they are out of the woods because of the passage of time.”

Well, that’s certainly a change.

So, how exactly will Holder decide which of the thousands of financial firms that helped cause the last financial crisis — from banks to brokerage firms and credit rating agencies — will be the targets?

And, Mr. Holder, please don’t forget about all the companies that benefited when the government needed to rig the stock market.

In the supposed name of the greater good, some Wall Street firms got inside information from Washington so they could do “God’s work.”

The payoff was handsome — more than any of the recently convicted inside traders could ever hope for.

And let’s hope Holder doesn’t pull this fast one: prosecute companies but let their culpable executives off the hook. We want to see the faces responsible.

We also don’t want companies to get off the hook by simply writing a check in this game of legal extortion by Washington.

Most satisfying of all, of course, would be an indictment of former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, who was largely responsible for allowing the stock market and housing market to bubble beyond acceptable limits.

Greenspan also played this cute game with Congress where he’d respond to questions with answers of incomprehensible gibberish.

That seems worthy of a contempt charge. Or is Greenspan too old to prosecute?

It really doesn’t matter because I think the attorney general’s latest stance is just a bluff.

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Now what is the Federal Reserve going to do?

The sale of durable goods, the Commerce Dept. reported yesterday, fell sharply in July, proving that whatever economic recovery Washington thought we had isn’t very, well, very durable.

As I mentioned in a column last week, the Fed is deciding right now whether the economy is strong enough to withstand a pullback in its quantitative easing money-printing operation.

The answer is pretty clear: it’s not. That was clear from the report that durable goods orders fell a much-bigger-than-expected 7.3 percent last month.

But, seriously, should this surprise anyone?

A survey released last week by Sentier Research said that the average American household is earning less now than when the so-called Great Recession supposedly ended four years ago.

So it’s no surprise that people aren’t willing to spring for high-priced durable goods?

Yesterday’s bad economic news didn’t bother the stock market much. Wall Street figures — in a simple-minded way — that a weak economy might keep the Fed from slowing down its money printing, which is the one thing keeping the stock market afloat.

But, alas, there is always something else for Wall Street to worry about.

The stock market ended lower yesterday not because of the economy but because the US is making new threats against Syria’s leadership.

Middle East tension is something that always needs to be considered when you are investing.

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Top this!

A company that installs screens over gutters to keep the leaves out says I am “not the kind of person” it wants as a customer.

Yep, I’ve been blackballed by Leaf Guard.

Hey, I could see me being blackballed by a golf club. Or maybe a fancy restaurant. Maybe even a fast-food joint where napkins are required. But a company that makes gutter covers?

Here’s what happened.

I foolishly agreed to have Leaf Guard come over to my house to give me an estimate. After a couple of aborted appointments, a representative was supposed to show up a few Fridays ago.

He wasn’t there at the 1 p.m. appointment time and I had something to do, so I left. The rep called and asked when I could reschedule.

I told him never. Just put the estimate in my mailbox.

A minute later I got a call from the district manager. He insisted on rescheduling.

I told him the same thing: his guy was already at my house, so put the estimate in my mailbox.

You’d think I suggested that this guy suck my downspout.

That’s when Mr. District Manager told me he didn’t want to deal with people like me — and hung up.

I then realized how far I’ve fallen in life.