WHEN I was a beauty editor and had to do photo shoots for Elle and Cosmo with rooms full of giant women, I always felt like a Smurf in Holland. (That’s where the tallest people come from.)
High fashion models do not, repeat, do not look like normal humans. They look like giant space aliens in Armani and no matter how much you spend on Armani yourself, unless you are 6-foot-1, you will never (never) look like that.
So kudos to Tyra Banks for devoting this season of “America’s Top Model” to under 5’7″ model wannabes, which is practically unheard of in the big world of mannequins. However, the world’s most successful model, Kate Moss, is, in fact, just 5’7″ — although she’s 9’2″ when she stands on her money.
Interestingly enough, for someone like me who comes from the fashion business, the 20 contenders in tonight’s show all have a much greater chance to actually become models than any of the women in any of the 12 “cycles” of the show that came before.
Tonight’s contestants have that indefinable something that all successful models have. It’s an oddness of face that you can’t stop staring at, and a perfection of proportion that is traffic-stopping. And, weirdly enough, every one of tonight’s wannabe photos looks better than any photo of any of those pretty-but-average giantesses who “cycled” through Tyra Land before.
The finalists include two Brooklynites, 5’6″ Ashley and 5’7″ Lulu, one Queens hopeful, 5’5″ Lisa and one Manhattanite, 5’5″ Jennifer.
The most interesting women are the most trouble, of course. That would be 5’7″ Bianca, a student with a stinky attitude and a gorgeous face; magically beautiful 5’3″ Sundai, who spent part of her childhood in an orphanage; and 5’6″ Amber, who inappropriately screams out things like, “I’m for Jesus Christ and, yeah, he wants me to help the world and I will do what he wants!” Or: “I haven’t had sex for two years. You’re supposed to have a real burning desire for your Lord Jesus!” And then she cries hysterically.
Issues or no issues, two others that I’d pick if I were still a beauty editor are Courtney, who is a mini Linda Evangelista and Rae, a homemaker/mom who looks like she was born in Vogue and grew up in Elle.