Entertainment

Beauties and the beasts

Halle Berry and ex Eric Benet (
)

The whole thing’s more irrational than a plot on “Desperate Housewives.”

One of the world’s most beautiful women, and star of said show, Eva Longoria (Parker), is divorcing her husband, NBA nitwit Tony Parker, after catching him texting a woman who only isn’t Longoria. I mean, seriously, if you’re already sleeping with Longoria, who’s left to cheat with — Angelina Jolie? No! These men dumb down to get down. Parker allegedly cheated with Erin Barry, the wife of former teammate, Brent Barry — who, by the way, can’t hold a candle to the wife Parker already has.

This latest in a rash of men who find it necessary to cheat on their world-class beautiful wives comes as no shock to me. See, I have always had my own brilliantly original theory that, yes, men are different than women.

It’s simple. If a woman is married to and/or living with the handsomest man in the world, chances are 110 percent that she isn’t going to be sexting with, say, her orthodontist.

But a man — any man? The odds are also about 110 percent that even men blessed by some magical luck to be married to, say, Halle Berry or Longoria will think even she isn’t good enough.

Take beautiful Oscar winner, Sandra Bullock, for example, and her ex-husband, world-class ugly fool TV star ex, Jesse James (“Monster Garage,” “Jesse James is a Dead Man“). Please. He not only cheated on her while they were married, but did it in his garage with a swastika tattoo model who called him “Vanilla Gorilla.” At least the nickname’s accurate in the brains and beauty department.

OK, so I’m being sexist. So? All good cliches are born on some slippery slope of truth, including the one about how men can’t wait to cheat on gorgeous women, while, with a very few exceptions, it’s not common among women married to men like say, Brad Pitt, to cat around. Which brings me back to Jolie. She who has bedded, cheated and abandoned every known species of humanoid, still hasn’t cheated on Pitt (that we know of). For one thing, women generally don’t cheat down like men do — we’re smart enough to cheat up.

True that once you’re married to Pitt, the options up are slim pickings, and we know that neither Parker nor James fits into the cheating up category — unless you’re a swastika tattoo model, or another basketball wife, that is.

Reality TV show anyone?