“I can read writin’, but not when the writin’s written rotten.” — Popeye the Sailor
Interesting, how verbal body language — the art of carefully chosen words — is ignored.
The story was all over the place last week on TV, radio and in print — Joe Paterno, 83, has announced he will be back next year to coach Penn State for a 46th season. There were quotes stating just that from Joe Paterno and his son, Penn State quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno.
But the bigger story was the carefully worded response from Penn State to Paterno’s claim. It was so slickly non-committal, it seemed to refute Paterno’s claim to next year’s team:
“We’re glad to hear of Coach Paterno’s excitement for next season,” athletic director Tim Curley said in a statement, one apparently prepared with great care. “We share his optimism about the team’s potential, and look forward to our annual postseason discussion with Coach Paterno about next year.”
Brother, if that sounds or reads anything like a declaration of “Welcome Back, Coach!” you might as well go for two, because you’re missing the point. Based on the school’s response, the annual “Will Paterno Be Back?” story is alive and kicking.
Fouts, Simms save day
It helps to know the game. During Patriots vs. Lions on Westwood One Radio (heard here on WFAN) on Thanksgiving, play-by-player Larry Kahn
declares (guesses) there’s a flag for a late hit on Tom Brady
. But radio analyst Dan Fouts
and CBS TV analyst Phil Simms
note the flag was thrown by the umpire (who primarily looks for holding), not the referee (whose responsibilities are more focused on the quarterback).
Not many guesswork artists bother to make (or know) such distinctions. Fouts and Simms were right. It was an illegal block against the Patriots. Good football analysts, so hard to find, are much appreciated.
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The goods senses gap between TV sports execs and intelligent viewers has widened with the choice of Joe Theismann
to be the NFL Network’s third man in the booth (but No. 1 in his game program). Thursday’s Bengals-Jets telecast was drowned in and by Theismann’s relentless presence.
Made me look! ESPN’s Mark Jackson
took a shot at the top of Wednesday’s Heat-Magic game. He said Dwyane Wade
and Miami couldn’t have three straight bad games, thus Wade “will score 30; the Heat win.” Wade had 18; the Heat lost by nine.
Fordham’s Tom Pecora
is the latest local college basketball coach to credit AAU connections for landing recruits. That’s like crediting mob connections with landing construction contracts.
WLIW/Ch. 21 today at 5:30 p.m. airs “New York Street Games,” including “how we played ball” chats with Regis Philbin
, Ray Romano
, Hector Elizondo
and Curtis Sliwa
. . . . Sweet Thanksgiving family moment from CBS on Thursday, showing Lions wideout Nate Burleson
in an excessive me-dance that ended with him grabbing his crotch. And in case anyone missed it the first time, CBS replayed it.
Questioning of questioners off base
WFAN’s Joe Benigno
is one of these radio guys who is 99- to 100-percent reliant on newspapers, yet only bites those hands that do his work for him.
After last week’s Mets news conference to introduce Terry Collins
, Benigno swiped at sportswriters for asking, as part of a group, dull, non-provocative questions. Well, no kidding. Why would local beat writers, in the most public of forums — and with radio and TV in the house — ask their best questions, the answers to which can be lifted and replayed long before the writers can write? Why would they ask in the wide open what they can later ask Collins in a one-on-one?
In essence, Benigno complained on WFAN that local sportswriters had failed to do his work for him.
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If the Jets are inclined to learn from history, they would not be encouraging Santonio Holmes
— “San Antonio Holmes,” according to ESPN’s Mike Ditka
— toward showboating. Such behavior from Holmes nearly cost the Steelers the 2009 Super Bowl. Holmes was fortunate to come away the game’s MVP, as opposed to the biggest, me-first dope in NFL history. With only seconds left in the game, the clock moving and the Steelers down against the Cardinals, Ben Roethlisberger
had to call Pittsburgh’s last timeout because Holmes, his back to Roethlisberger’s desperate signaling, was busy me-dancing after a catch and run. . . . Speaking of showboats, LSU last week beat Ole Miss in a game significantly altered because Ole Miss wideout Markeith Summers
, scoring to put his team ahead late, did a showboat routine into the end zone. The 15-yard penalty put LSU at midfield, from which it drove for the winning touchdown.
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We truly are blessed to have Mike Francesa
as our ultimate sports insider. After all, how many professional know-it-alls not only are rarely right, but so often wrong in a colossal way — yet smugly keep bringing it as if they’ve never been wrong?
Starting with the end of the Yankees’ season, Fran-say-so, from his inside-the-Yankees-think-tank position, knowingly stated re-signing Derek Jeter
would be a mere formality, no-sweat, quiet non-issue, a “Take it from me, Mike Francesa” ho and a hum. But it was another bad week for Francesa, from the ongoing Jeter contract hassle, to his word from “inside” that the Mets would hire Bob Melvin
. You’d think he’d have learned by now — he’s the last one to know. Incidentally, the Bucs, smugly identified by Francesa in September as among the NFL’s worst, are 7-3.