‘Dancing with the Stars’
‘Modern Family’
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Be QUIET. Your TV is having a gay crisis.
From here to Hollywood, we’re witnessing an explosive increase in the number of same-sex-loving characters. Trouble is, you would not want to touch these gals and guys while wearing a hazmat suit.
What in the name of “Will & Grace’’ is going on?
You see it on “Modern Family,’’ where gay dad Cameron Tucker (Eric Stonestreet) routinely fusses, flits and cries. You couldn’t avoid the endless promos during the Olympics for NBC’s gay, comic romp, “The New Normal,’’ starring a pair of characters so stereotypically fey it’s a wonder they call themselves male.
Even the popular Fox show “Glee’’ features soprano-voiced Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer) as a teen so flamboyant, fabulous and creepy, Liberace wants his rhinestones back.
Each show features folks so screamingly stupid — limp white boys and scary, sexually predatory girls, like Santana of “Glee’’ (Naya Rivera). It’s enough to drive the gay-rights movement back underground. Or delight loyalists of Chick-fil-A.
Polls show this nation is almost evenly divided on gay marriage — with half throwing rice at same-sex weddings, and the other half virulently opposed to redefining matrimony to embrace the union of Adam and Steve. So now might seem an awkward moment for TV land to give so much ammunition to the religious right.
Or maybe Hollywood is merely reflecting its own discomfort with radically changing the one-man, onewoman landscape that has existed since the Gutenberg Bible. It’s as if creative types are tacitly undermining every pro-gay shibboleth being preached at my kid’s school.
They’re turning gayness from a destination to a punch line.
Some gays I know have considered tossing their TVs out the window. But the establishment gay-rights group, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation — whose media guide warns that the word “homosexual’’ may be offensive to homosexuals — won’t complain. That would risk the cozy relationship with Hollywood that the org boasts about on its Web site.
GLAAD issued a statement triumphantly noting that 2.9 percent of characters on TV this season are members of the LGBT alphabet — lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. But not a word of warning about the content of the characters.
One pal compared today’s gay TV types to a new kind of blackface.
“It’s gayface!’’ said Williamson Henderson, director of the Stonewall Veterans Association, which launched the gay-rights movement in 1969 after members resisted a police raid at a Greenwich Village gay bar. “They’re a gay version of ‘Amos ’n’ Andy.’
“Wimpy characters, crying. They don’t represent gay people in a productive and positive sense,’’ Henderson said. He mentioned Chaz Bono, Cher’s daughter-turned-son, who appeared on “Dancing with the Stars,’’ then bitched that he lost the contest because he’s tubby.
“It was the clowning of the GLBT community,’’ said Henderson. “They were using him as a weapon to attract those who don’t support gay rights. He did more harm than good.”
Another gay friend, Bobby, was appalled by a new CBS show, “Partners’’ — one gay, one straight.
“The gay guy says, ‘I can’t drive a stick — I know it’s ironic,’ ’’ he recalled. “So awful! But that’s how Hollywood sees gay people.’’
Another friend, Jay, gets queasy watching the Cameron character cavort on “Modern Family.’’
“At some points, I burst out laughing at the sheer caricature of it all, but other times, I squirm because I feel we’ve moved way past that. I’m sure uninformed Middle Americans find the gay couple offensive.’’
It’s odd that Hollywood, which reputedly employs its share of gays, would be so self-loathing.
Maybe it’s time to breathe fresh air into the institution.
‘Modern Family’
‘Dancing with the Stars’
‘Glee’
To hell with Alec – amen!
It wasn’t Alec Baldwin’s leftist politics or titanic temper that prompted churchgoers in East Hampton to stand and turn their backs on the Bloviator, as Page Six reported. The anti-Alec protest was prompted by the walking train wreck’s recent display of anti-Catholicism.
“I can tell you it was very, very difficult for us to do that, but we felt so strongly that we had to do something,’’ one who dissed Alec told me.
On the eve of his wedding to Hilaria Thomas, the angry actor got in the face of a photographer, yelling, “I know you got raped by a priest.’’
Baldwin, who harbors a fetish for bullying women, smaller shooters, and me on Twitter, disrupted Sunday church services at Most Holy Trinity Parish on July 29 when the egomaniac insisted on doing a reading. And worshippers spontaneously showed him their backs.
“We feel in making that remark, Mr. Baldwin crossed a line and that his presence on the altar was an affront not only to priests he so maligned, but to every parishioner,’’ said my source. “To say nothing of the viciousness of the remark.’’
American Airlines planes, Twitter, my house and now a church. The list of places where Alec’s behavior isn’t welcome grows by the day.
Girls just wanna have one
Thousands of lusty women and men were frustrated when city officials prematurely evacuated a vibrator giveaway, as Post reporter Amber Sutherland put it, by the Trojan condom company. Buzz kills said Trojan didn’t have a permit. But those caught in the throes of vibrator interruptus accused Nanny Bloomberg of being a prude.
After an intense outcry, permits were bought and vibrators freed. People of this city, where countless women (and men) get their satisfaction solo, were pleased. Just don’t count on your neighbors leaving their apartments anytime soon.
Killer’s final act
It is the first, and last, decent thing Levi Aron has done in his worthless life.
Aron, 36, last week confessed he abducted, murdered and chopped up the body of innocent 8-year-old Leiby Kletzky. The precious boy got lost walking home from day camp in his presumably safe Borough Park, Brooklyn, neighborhood last year.
Aron’s plea, which likely will keep him locked up for life, brings Kletzky’s family a small measure of peace. Now Nachman and Esther Kletzky won’t endure a long, painful trial. Nor will the rest of the city, which united behind the small, sad Jewish boy.
May Levi Aron burn.
Too late to Curry favor
If looks could kill.
Matt Lauer said, “Ann Curry has made her way to London’’ — as if the canned “Today’’ show host had paid her own way. Ouch!
Lauer twice said, “It’s good to see you’’ — but a stone-faced Curry failed to return the nicety to the man who publicly stabbed her in the back.
With “Today” pre-Olympics ratings in free fall, Matt had better watch his own back.