Brooklyn
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Don’t quit your day job — whatever it is.
A bespectacled man toting a Chanel bag and sporting a black baseball cap and a chef’s jacket bearing the words “Culinary Arts” simply lacked the street cred to pull off a bank robbery Tuesday in Bensonhurst, police said.
The suspect (pictured above) passed a demand note to a teller at the TD branch on 86th Street near Bay Parkway at about 12:45 p.m., only to watch her just walk away and ignore him, cops said.
The humiliated badass wannabe, described as in his early 30s, 5-foot-6 and about 155 pounds, slinked off in such haste that he left the Chanel bag for investigators to sift through.
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Now this guy . . .
A 39-year-old man not only survived being shot in the back, wrist and leg early yesterday in Bedford-Stuyvesant, but also called 911 himself and described the shooter — even if all he could say was that he was dressed in black from head to toe, a source said.
The attack occurred at 12:25 a.m. on Decatur Street near Lewis Avenue. The shooter ran off toward Lewis, said the man, who was treated for nonlife-threatening injuries at St. John’s Episcopal/Interfaith Hospital.
The Bronx
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A seven-gal wolf pack beat and robbed a young woman who’s with a youth law-enforcement training group in University Heights, court records indicate.
Jasmine Thomas, 19, and her crew jumped the teen on University Avenue near West 190th Street at 9:50 p.m. on Sept. 1, the records say. The suspects allegedly kicked and punched her, pulled her hair and banged her head against a wall.
When the girl’s cellphone and wallet fell to the ground, her attackers scooped them up and fled, the records say. She said she lost a $30 debit card, a credit card and ID.
Thomas is the only suspect caught so far.
She was charged with robbery, grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, assault, petit larceny, menacing and harassment.
Her accomplices were still at large last night, cops said.
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Cops yesterday busted the thug who allegedly fired the gun which hit a 2-month-old baby boy in the Bronx Wednesday night.
Police nabbed Terek Odom, 21, and charged him with attempted murder, criminal possession of a weapon and assault for his part in the shooting which left baby Trayvon Brunson with a graze wound to his shoulder.
Police said they were still searching for Odom’s alleged accomplice.
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A thug fatally slashed a man in the neck on a Fordham street, then made good his escape, cops said.
Stephen Easton, 41, was left to die on East 178th Street near Webster Avenue at about 11:45 p.m. Thursday, police said.
The motive was not immediately clear.
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A man ripped his girlfriend’s shirt off and tried to strangle her with it in Hunts Point, according to court records.
Alex Mejia, 37, allegedly attacked the woman in a sixth-floor apartment on Fox Street near Longwood Avenue at about 9 a.m. Tuesday, court papers say.
He capped things off by beating her with a curtain rod, the records state.
She survived, and he was charged with assault, criminal possession of a weapon and harassment.
Manhattan
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Two guys chasing a masked man who had just held up their pal in Inwood were lucky the thief was in too big a hurry to shoot straight, cops said.
The pal, 45, was accosted on West 207th Street near Vermilyea Avenue at about 1:55 a.m. Monday, police said.
When his friends went to his aid, the fleeing crook (pictured above) fired at them once and missed but bought himself enough time to get away, cops said.
Besides the mask, the suspect, believed to be in his 20s, wore a white T-shirt and blue jeans.
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Police are asking for the public’s help in finding a 39-year-old man who went missing in Midtown.
Waldemar Kaiser (pictured above) was last seen exiting Central Park near 59th Street and Fifth Avenue at approximately 2 p.m. Tuesday.
He stands 6 feet tall, weighs 200 pounds and has brown hair and brown eyes.