KILLING IT! Emmys host Jimmy Kimmel cracks jokes as actor Tracy Morgan pretends to have passed out last night at the 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles. (Reuters)
The opening toilet-bowl segment tanked, the monologue didn’t overflow with laughs, and the first presenters — Louis C.K. and Amy Poehler — were forced to read such stilted old jokes that it was actually worse than bathroom humor.
So no, it wasn’t an auspicious beginning for the 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards last night — but that’s only because of the awards show’s tired format, which has gotten longer in the tooth than Megan’s teeth on “Mad Men.”
Clue: The bantering between presenters is never funny and only serves to make viewers either cringe with shame or run to the bathroom and make their own bathroom humor. Jon Hamm and Tina Fey? Yikes. Forgotten-glasses jokes? Save us!
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Anyway, even though Jimmy Kimmel disappointed in the opening 10 minutes, he more than made up for it every other time he took the stage and in every single sketch he did after that. I mean, “In Memoriam?” For himself? Hilarious.
It encouraged me to start putting together fake clips for myself. Why leave it up to crying amateurs?
Not every stunt worked as well as that one. For instance, the Tracy Morgan “pass out” gag should have been better than it was, but at least he tried something new. And anything new is better than everything old.
Kimmel and Morgan should have just saved the dying-man-on-the-stage bit for Jon Stewart, who looked as if he was actually going to die on stage — or at least he sure sounded like it. Not for nothin’, but Stewart probably needs to start running his mouth less and his legs more.
And why did the voice-over lady have to give each winner’s birthplace? What was it supposed to show? That not everyone on TV is British?
But for the first time in a long time, I was cheering at the winners — even though the fools who did the nominating totally ignored the great, great “The Walking Dead.” And “Modern Family” again-and-again again? It feels as if this series has been winning for so long, it isn’t even modern anymore!
How much fun was Ricky Gervais? Too bad they made him give out the award for awards shows! How insane is that? It’s not enough that entertainment people constantly give each other awards, but they even give each other awards for awards? He also proved why he could never host a legit awards show. He won’t play nice with others — which is why he’s perfect to host awards shows.
But on the great side? Damian Lewis and Claire Danes for “Homeland?” And Outstanding Drama Series for “Homeland?” That’s two bull’s-eyes right there! Julianne Moore for “Game Change?” You betcha. Kevin Costner for “Hatfields & McCoys?” Great — especially since it took longer to get made than it took for the two clans to make up.
All in all a good night. But next year, can they bag the banter and let Kimmel fly? The old rules for these shows were written around the time Hammurabi first started writing code — and it’s time for an update.