You never know where and when clarity will strike. You’re just minding your own business when …
On a recent trip to Italy, I was in the mountain town of Montefalco when, likely deranged by habit, I tuned to a sports channel that was showing a Davis Cup match from April between John Isner of the U.S. and France’s Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.
With plenty of much better stuff to do, I sat in the hotel room, watching this match, broadcast in Italian.
I concluded that this match, despite Isner’s dominance, was watchable — so attractive — because I was allowed to watch. There weren’t a pile of graphics to fight past or multiple replays of every winner, and there was only one commentator — not three, plus one patrolling the stands — to suffer.
And while I understood only some of what was spoken by the commentator, I fully understood this: He didn’t say much about what was plainly, clearly seen.
I wasn’t assaulted then aggravated by the extraneous, senses-dicing matter that U.S. television executives gather to defeat the primary purpose of sports television. Returned was the best seat in the joint, a glorious goal long ago abandoned by our TV shot-callers.
And if that telecast was presented on the cheap — it likely was — well, sometimes the least one can do (just holding the door open for a stranger) is the best one can do.
On Saturday, throughout the Yankees-A’s 14-inning self-demolition derby, YES’ three announcers contributed to the wreckage. Michael Kay, so often eager to autograph/write his name all over the most self-evident moments in games, was downright intrusive.
In the bottom of the 12th, bases loaded, two out, Derek Jeter at bat, Kay decided it was time to explain Jeter to those unfamiliar with the 18-year Yankee, further building on a moment that needed no further construction.
In a reverential voice, Kay said, “The one thing you’ve always heard about Jeter: He doesn’t let the moment overwhelm him. It doesn’t speed up for him the way it speeds up for others. If he doesn’t succeed here, it’s not because the moment’s too big. It’s just because he didn’t succeed.” Heavy.
Actually, what Kay claimed we have “always heard about Jeter,” I can’t recall having heard before. Regardless, Jeter kinda ruined Kay’s floral arrangement by flying out to short right.
When the game ended with an error by A’s first baseman Brandon Moss, Kay hollered, “A walk-off E-3!”
And, as if to assure YES’ audience he was being serious, as opposed to intentionally ridiculous or sarcastic, he said it again: “A walk-off E-3!”
Good grief!
I suspect he thought he sounded neo-slick as opposed to timelessly ridiculous. Either way, infermiera! (That’s Italian for nurse.)
Early in yesterday’s Jets-Dolphins, CBS returned from a commercial break during which Tim Tebow entered, for the first time, as quarterback.
But, instead of giving us this shot to consider, a few seconds before the snap, CBS chose a live sideline of a cheerleader whose breasts appeared primed to bolt their inadequate lodging. Priorities.
On Friday night, as if to prove it in fact pays attention to everything except the games it purchases then promotes, ESPN cut to commercials with Baylor losing to Louisiana-Monroe, 21-14.
When returned from that break, it was 21-20. Yep, ESPN had missed a TD. Best seat in the house? We weren’t even in the stadium!
Earlier Friday, while the Tour Championship was being played, live, Tiger Woods, having played his way down the leaderboard, remained both the visual and vocal focus within NBC/Golf Channel’s telecast.
OK, we’re used to that. But TV has attached a fresh absurdity to Woods. There’s now a full-blown, multiple-opinion examination of Woods’ state of being: his mental condition, his physical condition, his overall condition.
Nothing new? Wait. Now such all-in discussions are applied to Woods’ good and welfare on the front nine compared to the back nine! Seriously.
With all the college football blowouts, Saturday afternoon, we tuned to a close one: Lafayette-Bucknell on CBS Sports Network. Bucknell, down 20-14, had the ball at midfield, 1:36 left, fourth-and-game. Yet, a moment before the snap, a distracting graphic appeared: “Bucknell 4th-down conversions today: 1/1.”
As if, at this point — or any point — that had anything to do with what was going on!
One would think CBS Sports Network would wish to distinguish itself from other sports networks by not being as eager to demonstrate it doesn’t know a damned thing about the sports it covers …
Oh, well. On Saturday, the Mets’ Jon Rauch pitched one inning, allowed two hits, including a three-run homer, and got the save. In a world gone nuts, that makes perfect sense.
3 shows for the ‘record’
Three things well worth finding, recording and sharing, this week:
1. HBO’s “Real Sports” piece on (mostly drunken) fan violence. It will re-air tomorrow at 1:30 p.m. and midnight.
2) A fascinating show on the where, how and authentication of Bobby Thomson’s 1951 “Shot Heard ‘Round the World” ball (known by ESPN as a “walk-off to win the NLCS”). “Miracle Ball” appears Wednesday at 8 p.m. on Velocity channel, available in New York on DirecTV, Fios, Dish, Time Warner, Cablevision and RCN.
3) NFL Network/NFL Films’ “A Football Life” profiles Tom Coughlin, family and friends, also Wednesday at 8.
Flag on CBS crew!
At Halftime of Jets-Dolphins, CBS’ studio panel, led by Shannon Sharpe, childishly mocked a replacement official for an act of ineptitude in the Cowboys-Bucs game.
“Watch the replacement official — he throws his hat on the field!” said Sharpe of a play in which Sharpe indicated Dallas QB Tony Romo might have been affected while trying to throw. Group scorn was heard in the background.
But CBS showed a different clip. No such scene was visible. CBS didn’t clarify or in any way make good on its own ineptitude — among non-replacements.
* NCAA Builds Character Game of the Week: On Saturday, Widener (Pa.) defeated Wilkes (Pa.), 90-0. Widener’s starting QB threw for 467 yards and six TDs. The last made it 62-0. The week before, Widener threw 45 times in a 67-0 win at Misericordia (Pa.). Charming.
As for Misericordia, it should’ve scheduled Mercy. Misericordia has lost its first four by a total of, gulp, 239-24.