How bizarre is this?
One Abdullah Ismail, among those protesting America by torching a library in Lahore, Pakistan, died this week — apparently one day after inhaling smoke from a burning American flag.
Um, we didn’t know flags could do that.
Sounds like an infidel plot to us.
Or a shining opportunity for the international tort bar.
After all, how likely is it that Old Glory came with a warning label?
WARNING: The CIA Director Has Determined
That Smoking Flags Are Dangerous To Your Health.
In Urdu.
It might have made a difference, you know.
Also, why wasn’t the flag flame retardant?
Oh, wait. That would be a product defect in the Greater Middle East these days.
Cue the ambulance chasers.
True, the last time you heard of an American dying from flaming-flag fumes was . . . never, right?
But you simply never know.
Most of those Occupy types look like they’d smoke anything — even flags.
Especially flags.
If two or three were to pull an Ismail — well, how would that look in the tourist brochures? Not good at all.
So don’t call just any ambulance-chasers.
When you care enough to sue the very best, you need the torters from Weitz and Luxenberg — Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver’s employer of choice.
Now that he’s not covering up sexual-harassment payouts in his part-time job, the speaker’s free to help keep the Big Apple poisoned-pennant free.
Contingency covered.