Manhattan
A pervert slashed open a sleeping woman’s pants on a subway train in the Financial District and groped her, authorities said.
Robert Williams, 25, sat beside the woman at about 5:45 a.m. Saturday on the World Trade Center-bound E train, cut her trousers with a boxcutter and pawed her buttocks and thigh, court records state.
Arresting officers found the razor in one of his pockets, and he was charged with criminal possession of a weapon, forcible touching and sexual abuse, cops said.
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Too bad smartphones don’t actually make you, you know, smarter.
Terrance Avery, 33, has a thing for the pricey devices, having allegedly swiped four along with a laptop in the last year alone, authorities said.
He spent much of this past weekend haunting a Times Square McDonald’s, cops said. At 12:40 a.m. Saturday, he allegedly diverted a 42-year-old woman’s attention by tossing a cup of coffee at her, then scooped her phone off her table.
The next day, he elbowed another female customer and grabbed two phones off her table, the cops said.
Back on Feb. 18, Avery waited at the main branch of the New York Public Library until a woman abandoned her seat, then walked out onto Fifth Avenue in possession of her phone.
He was back at the library the following week for the Apple laptop, court documents claim.
Avery is now under arrest on charges of larceny, robbery and criminal possession of stolen property — the smartphones.
Queens
A bouncer at a Jamaica bar put a brutal beatdown on a 36-year-old man yesterday — sending him to the hospital in cardiac arrest, authorities said.
Francisco Vasquez, 28, attacked Luis Matute, 36, for unknown reasons on Jamaica Avenue near 132nd Street around 1:50 a.m., cops said.
Matute was rushed to Jamaica Hospital in cardiac arrest, but was later upraged to stable condition.
Vasquez was charged with assault, harassment and robbery.
Brooklyn
This dim bulb’s got a thing for floodlights.
A security guard caught Pyszard Kukla, 59, allegedly shoplifting halogen light bulbs from the Home Depot on Hamilton Avenue in Sunset Park at 3:05 p.m. on Sept. 11.
He was charged with petit larceny, records show.
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Did anyone call security?
A 57-year-old livery cabby told police that someone broke into the parked vehicle in Sunset Park and stole just one item — its security camera.
He claimed he left the black 2012 Toyota Camry overnight on Second Avenue and 65th Street and went back at 9:30 a.m. on Sept. 11.
The passenger’s-side window was smashed in, he said, and the $750 video recorder was gone.
Staten Island
An argument between roommates turned into a gunfight that led to the arrest of three people — for pot possession, law-enforcement source said.
Thursday’s 12:55 p.m. fight between Ahmed Squaly, 29, and Efrain Cortes, 30, spilled from their Roe Street apartment near Castleton Avenue to the streets of Port Richmond — where Cortes allegedly pointed a .38-caliber pistol at his buddy, sources said.
Squaly grabbed Cortes’ other gun, a Smith & Wesson special, and ran outside after him, but both turned out to be lousy shots, firing at least once but succeeding only in drawing attention.
Responding officers caught Squaly, disarmed him, cuffed him and found he was allegedly carrying a bag containing marijuana.
So they returned to his home where, they said, they found his .38, a high-capacity magazine, ecstasy pills and powder and more pot.
Squaly was charged with reckless endangerment, criminal possession of a weapon, attempted assault and marijuana possession, the authorities said.
Cortes was charged with weapon and drug possession — and his live-in 23-year-old girlfriend, who was not identified, was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance, criminal possession of an ammo clip and unlawful possession of pot.
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A woman driving with her 13-year-old son beside her was charged with DWI after getting into an accident in Port Richmond, authorities said.
Irina Kaufman slammed her 2010 Toyota RAV4 into another vehicle at 9:30 p.m. last Friday on Amber Street and Clarke Avenue, records show.
Kaufman, 53, allegedly reeked of alcohol and had watery eyes. Cops found a nearly empty pint of Smirnoff vodka in her car and a pint of Scotch whisky in her bag.
“I was driving. I picked up my son. I don’t remember anything after that,” she allegedly told them.
“I got into a car accident with an Italian man. Is everybody OK?”
A Breathalyzer test registered .211, more than twice the legal limit, sources said. She was charged with aggravated DWI and acting in a manner injurious to a child, said a spokesman for DA Dan Donovan.