Entertainment

‘Dog’gone shame

Off-broadway’s “Red Dog Howls” begins with the line: “There are sins from which we can never be absolved.”

So, not a comedy then.

And that’s an understatement: Alexander Dinelaris’ new play, which opened last night at New York Theatre Workshop, is a full-on drama — also contrived, manipulative and borderline exploitative.

The sole reason this show gets two stars instead of one is the intense, exacting Kathleen Chalfant who shone in “Wit” and “Angels in America,” and is one of New York’s finest stage actors.

Here, she throws herself into the part of Rose Afratian, an elderly New Yorker of Armenian descent. With her customary skill, Chalfant speaks in a strong accent, drops the occasional Armenian expression, and walks around as if she were carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Indeed, Rose is hiding a devastating “Sophie’s Choice”-like secret. But the play lays it on so thick that the eventual revelation is like a meteor hitting a shantytown — it comes out of the blue and blows the shoddy plot to smithereens.

Most of the action centers on the relationship between Rose and her grandson, a 34-year-old writer named Michael Kiriakos (Alfredo Narciso).

Taking a back seat is Michael’s pregnant wife, Gabriella (Florencia Lozano), who’s more symbolic than anything else, and spends a lot of her stage time passed out in a hospital bed.

Narrating the show, Michael takes us through his discovery of his Armenian roots and his cursed family via his conversations with Rose.

Problem is, their scenes together are never engaging. She’s a laconic presence who often evades questions with “Eat!” — or “Shut up and eat!” when she’s feeling chatty.

As for Michael, he’s a characterless character with an unfortunate tendency to address the audience. Ponderously.

The text loudly advertises its importance, sounding variously melodramatic or pasted from Wikipedia: “The first nation to accept Christianity as its national religion,” Michael informs us, “Armenia was a sprawling nation that sat on the portal between Asia and the West.” Zzzzzz.

Finally, Rose decides that Michael is ready to hear the truth and help her execute her last plan. She utters the fateful line: “I want to tell you something,” and the show goes into its final nose dive.

Let’s just say that only an actor of Chalfant’s caliber could give any kind of dignity to that ending.