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There isn’t enough truth serum in the world to coax Joe Girardi or any of his players into giving up whom they’ll be rooting for tonight, in Arlington, Texas, when the Rangers host the Orioles in the first-ever American League Wild-Card Game.
Oh, maybe in a weak moment some of them would admit that it’d be preferable to take the short trip south to Baltimore, where they’d likely be in their hotel rooms shortly after midnight, rather than taking the longer voyage to Dallas-Fort Worth, where they probably wouldn’t get settled until close to 4 a.m., bringing a getaway-day-style hangover to the first game of the postseason.
But which team, Orioles or Rangers? You’d have better luck asking Derek Jeter whom he plans to vote for.
“Both the Rangers and the Orioles are excellent teams,” manager Joe Girardi said the other night, after emerging from a victorious clubhouse, and that’s as far as he would go, which is about as far as anyone is ever willing to go.
Most times, that’s understandable because, most times, there’s an obvious answer. It isn’t so obvious this time. Both the Rangers and the Orioles present substantial cases why you’d want to avoid them. Both the Rangers and the Orioles present compelling testimony why you would secretly root for them to prevail.
“Don’t even ask me,” Jeter said with a smile the other night.
But you can ask yourself, Yankees fans. And these are the elements worth considering.
The Rangers? Yes, they are reeling. In another year, another time, we would be calling this the grand-daddy of all collapses. The Rangers were one out away from winning the World Series last year — twice — and seemed to treat this regular season with diffident disdain and it burned them: Not only did the Athletics somehow overcome a 13-game lead across the season’s final 95 days, but Texas was up five with nine to go. You’d better believe that ranks with the great tank jobs ever.
Ah, but this is a different time. The ’11 Red Sox and Braves, the ’07 and ’08 Mets, they never had the gift that the Rangers now have of a mulligan, a do-over, a second chance to wash away the stain of a coughed-up season. Until this year, neither would the Rangers — although, ironically, since both teams finished 93-69 — there would’ve been a one-game playoff anyway even before such a game was mandated.
And here’s the truth: For most of the year, the Rangers were considered the team to beat in the AL. They look wounded and vulnerable, if not dead, right now. But if they get a reprieve tonight — and the game’s at home, remember, and they did go 5-2 against the O’s — would you really want to face the two-time defending league champions, who would probably feel like they were playing with house money?
The Orioles? The most fascinating storyline to me is this one: If the Yankees wind up finding themselves in Baltimore tomorrow morning, that means that Buck Showalter will have officially completed one-third of the secular jihad he has in front of him starting today. There is little question he would love to dismiss the Rangers — who did likewise to him in 2005 — and to do it in Arlington would be twice as nice.
Next up: The Yankees, whose ongoing renaissance starting 20 years ago has almost universally been put on the shoulders of two men: Gene Michael and Showalter. For his efforts, Showalter was shown the door after the gut-crunching loss to Seattle in 1995. And for kicks, redeeming that segment of his Michael Corleone-style settling-all-family-business spree would include adding another layer to Alex Rodriguez’ playoff miseries. And Showalter and A-Rod were never going to do Hope-and-Crosby road pictures together.
So there is that. And there is this: Never mess with pixie dust. This year, that means steering clear of the O’s and the A’s as much as possible. Last year, it meant staying away from the Cardinals. If the 2011 Phillies and 2011 Cardinals re-play their best-of-five 100 times, the Phillies probably win 95, 80 of them before it ever gets to a fifth game.
So what’s your call? The magic carpet or the battered bandwagon? No sodium pentothal needed. Go where you wind up going. Then play some quality ball. See how that works out.
michael.vaccaro@nypost.com