Weird But True

Weird but true

It’s not even Halloween and zombies are already on the loose — in Maine, at least.

Portland cops are steamed at a mystery prankster who fiddled with an electronic street sign.

Instead of warning motorists about road conditions, the hijacked sign read: “Warning, Zombies Ahead!”

Portland police chief Vern Malloch told the Press Herald newspaper: “While everyone would agree it was humorous, there are certainly instances when it could have put people at risk.”

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Phillipsburg HS in New Jersey became an institution of “higher” learning this week.

Several students needed hospital treatment after getting sick on marijuana-laced cookies. One student complained of being in an “altered mental status,” cops said.

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Traffic was real crappy yesterday in western Michigan.

A trailer filled with portable work-site toilets dumped its load all over a highway.

More than a half-dozen Porta-Potties were found on the road between Paw Paw and Portage.

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Uhhh, is there any way to say this genteelly? . . . How about, this guy’s a real anal cavity!

Prosecutors claim a Florida man resealed and returned used enemas to pharmacies that unwittingly resold them.

Ronald Eugene Robinson, 34, of Jacksonville, faces federal charges of tampering with consumer products.

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A massive drug bust saved some primates from going absolutely bananas in Holland.

Authorities seized a huge amount of cocaine hidden in boxes of fruit that were being shipped to the Rotterdam Zoo.

Dutch prosecutors said yesterday that more than eight tons of coke were hidden among the bananas aboard a ship from Ecuador.