Listen up: When you’re thrown in the slammer, remove the human ear from your pocket first.
Joseph Hall Jr. of Tulsa, Okla., learned that the hard way after he was accused of savagely attacking his baby mama, police said.
Cops say they found a missing piece of the woman’s ear in his pocket.
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A busy highway is no place to spill your guts.
A roadway in Ilwaco, Wash., was shut down after a trailer overturned and dumped a load of salmon guts and heads onto the roadway.
The slimy, smelly pile of fish entrails — which workers had to clean up in a rainstorm — had been headed for a cat-food factory.
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This Mickey Mouse security system can’t pick up credit-card fraud.
A homeless Florida man allegedly scammed Disney World out of more than $18,000 by using the same stolen-credit-card scheme at least two dozen times, police said.
Jeffrey Hawkins, 49, allegedly told police: “It’s easy to commit fraud at Disney, and I’ve been here a lot.”
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Talk about milking it.
A mom in Texas pumped her way into Guinness World Records by donating more than 86 gallons of breast milk to the Mothers’ Milk Bank of North Texas over 10 months.
The nonprofit provides milk to neonatal intensive-care units.
Alicia Richman, 28, ended up producing 11,000 ounces of milk for donation after the birth of her son.
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Once a black belt, always a black belt.
A burglar in Brisbane, Australia, got way more than he bargained for when he was confronted by 83-year-old homeowner Edwin Dowdy and his wife, who are trained in the Japanese martial art of Aikido.
Dowdy claims the muscular burglar ran into the old-timer’s knife, leaving the fleeing thug with a serious stomach wound.