When they lost power during Hurricane Sandy, I offered to let my sister and her family stay with my husband and me in our two-bedroom apartment. Day 1 was a novelty. We’re now on Day 6, and the situation is getting old fast. Do you have any tips for us all to get along? — Joanna T. ,SoHo
What makes this particularly difficult, of course, is the uncertainty. Thousands of families in our area remain unsure about when their power, heat or phone service will be restored. In the meantime, it’s a real give and take. Hosts should do their best to provide guests with a modicum of privacy and comfort. For their part, guests must understand they are not staying in a hotel. You are their host — not the maid, chef or valet. They should be chipping in with chores, buying groceries, cleaning up after themselves and making sure to express gratitude for the generosity you and your husband are offering them. If you think your good graces are being taken advantage of, it’s best you say something — and sooner rather than later. In the nicest of ways, lay down some ground rules to help prevent even worse misunderstandings in the days to come. I know it seems like forever right now, but you’re doing a good thing. And take heart . . . as the proverb says, “This, too, shall pass.”
At the height of last week’s hurricane, my neighbor’s 80-year-old oak tree fell across our driveway, trapping me in the house for several days. I finally arranged for a service to come and remove it — at the cost of $2,000. Who’s responsible for picking up that expense? —Martin K., Bayside
Unfair as it sounds, if the tree is now on your property, it’s your problem. Says Edward Mackoul, president of Mackoul & Associates, a Long Island-based insurance agency: “You can go after their insurance company for the removal cost, but since no property damage is involved here, it’s unlikely that either your insurance company or theirs will pay on the claim. If you want to recoup the cost from your neighbor, you’ll most likely have to sue him.” For a more amicable solution, see if your neighbor will split the cost (and the resulting firewood). And in the spirit of tree-hugging, you might even consider planting a replacement oak on the border between your properties. Just make sure you find a small one so that it won’t reach driveway-blocking size for another 80 years.
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