A Florida man is blaming his DWI arrest on President Obama’s re-election.
Reginald Robertson, 52, reportedly claimed he was busted because he is black and the white cop was angry over Obama’s victory.
Of course, the fact that he was doing 35 mph over the speed limit and said, “I had too much to drink” might also have been factors.
***
This goat sure hates young paperboys — and young wizards.
A furious “guard” goat attacked a 14-year-old paperboy in Utah, forcing him to climb a tree for safety.
“That was a freaky goat,” said Jaxon Gessel. “I think it’s possessed.”
The owner of the goat — which is named Voldermort, after the “Harry Potter” villain — defended him as “good with kids.”
***
This counterfeiting scheme would have worked if not for one mistake — the $100 bills had Lincoln’s face on them instead of Benjamin Franklin’s.
The blunder led to the arrest of a 29-year-old man in Rhode Island after workers at a Target store noticed Abe’s face on the C-notes.
The crook was busted before he got to release his next series — $3 bills with Jimmy Carter’s face.
***
At least he did a pretty good job.
A Florida teen got a year in jail for posing as a medical assistant at a hospital for several weeks.
In that time Matthew Scheidt reportedly changed bandages, handled IVs and even successfully gave CPR to someone suffering a drug overdose.
***
Here’s a stunt that will take your breath away.
A Danish diver has broken the world record for going without air by holding his breath underwater for a lung-busting 22 minutes.
Stig Severinsen broke his previous record of 20 minutes 10 seconds.
He had a little help, inhaling pure oxygen before the attempt to ready his body to go breathless.