US News

New ‘Kardashians’

Kim Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian. (Splash News)

DON’T MESS WITH ME: Paula Broadwell, who allegedly threatened a woman she considered a rival for the affections of Gen. Petraeus, pumps lead at a Virginia shooting range.

DON’T MESS WITH ME: Paula Broadwell, who allegedly threatened a woman she considered a rival for the affections of Gen. Petraeus, pumps lead at a Virginia shooting range. (Splash News)

DON’T MESS WITH ME: Paula Broadwell, who allegedly threatened a woman she considered a rival for the affections of Gen. Petraeus, pumps lead at a Virginia shooting range. (
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Move over, Kardashian sisters.

All we need now is a sex tape.

Tampa military groupie Jill Kelley and her twin sister, Natalie Khawam, are the new K sisters of the US Armed Forces — greedy star-lovers raising their 15 minutes to pornographic levels.

Yesterday, Jill’s twin Natalie broke out of the shadows and into the sweaty dreams of men and women everywhere. Natalie’s sis Jill, a close personal friend of disgraced retired Gen. David Petraeus, skyrocketed to fame after being allegedly stalked and threatened by Petraeus’ unglued mistress, Paula Broadwell.

Now, it was Natalie’s star turn.

With stringy hair hanging into her eyes and enough makeup to give her an uncanny resemblance to the late Michael Jackson, Khawam took the microphone at a DC press conference next to horror lawyer Gloria Allred, a lady with a truffle-sniffing pig’s ability to unearth the bimbo of the moment.

It was showtime.

By way of hello, Natalie burst into tears. But this wanton display of emotion and perfect mascara wasn’t enough to make her paralyzed face move a muscle.

“My sister Jill and I aren’t just twins. We’re best friends, literally inseparable,” she started. “Through my darkest hours, Jill has held a light for me.”

Then, a weird press conference turned downright surreal.

“Jill is the kindest, most generous person I know. We played varsity tennis together. She played net and I served. We also played softball together.’’ Wait for it.

“She was a catcher and I pitched.’’

Get your mind out of the gutter. Natalie proceeded to keep the audience panting, failing to explain why two high-ranking generals, Petraeus and Afghanistan commander John Allen, wrote letters on her behalf during an ugly custody battle. Allen is the general who exchanged some 20,000 to 30,000 e-mails with Kelley, at least some of them PG-rated.

Allred sought to explain: “Natalie feels that it is important that the public understands why General Petraeus and his wife, Holly, both filed affidavits in support of her in her custody case.’’

Allred’s assertion that Holly Petraeus wrote to the judge on Khawam’s behalf was news. In his own affidavit, Petraeus mentioned that he “and his wife” knew Khawam for about three years.

Allred also never said if Petraeus and Allen knew that the judge who awarded Khawam’s husband custody of their son had made the mother out to be a lying psycho with “an unsteady moral and ethical compass.”

Khawam was also a woman $3.6 million in debt, although she had only $350,000 in assets, including six Chanel handbags, plus diamond jewelry and a Cartier watch worth $50,000.

At least now the men, and potentially women, of America know who Natalie Khawam is. She’s Jill Kelley’s slightly used twin.

The Kardashian sisters would be proud. But hey, at least they have money.