There were turkeys all across America objecting to being compared with the New York Football Jets on the sorry, shameful, disgraceful, humiliating night Bill Belichick and Tom Brady beat the stuffing out of Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez and exposed their 4-7 rivals as laughingstock pretenders.
TE-BOW chants and boobirds and a morgue of a place you could call MetDeath Stadium.
Happy Tanksgiving, from your New York Football Jets.
Turkey Time last night.
Alas, no Tebow Time against Arizona.
Why not?
Tebow, suited up last night for some reason but never used, has two fractured ribs, for starters.
SANCHEZ BLOOPER FUMBLE EPITOMIZES EMBARRASSING JETS PERFORMANCE
SANCHEZ PLAY DEFINES JETS DISASTER
FRACTURED RIBS KEEP TEBOW OFF FIELD
Ryan actually cited Sanchez’s 94 quarterback rating and said: “I thought Mark threw the ball well.”
And: “I think Mark does give us the best chance to win right now.”
Against whom?
Patriots 49, Jets 19 was a resounding reminder that the gap between Brady and Sanchez has widened to such unimaginable proportions that it is hard to imagine owner Woody Johnson not pushing the panic button that reads TEBOW. AT ANY POSITION.
The Grand Canyonesque gap between Belichick and Ryan is something the disenchanted owner might be inclined to research as well. But the buck for this shoddy operation stops at general manager Mike Tannenbaum, who now will be known as embattled GM Mike Tannenbaum.
Ryan was asked if he expects to be back next season.
“I do,” he said. “And I think our team [will] play a heckuva lot better, and I don’t believe anybody will ask that question by the time the year’s over.”
The lowlight among a veritable feast of lowlights for these 4-7 Jets came early, one of those Ripley Believe It Or Not moments out of their sordid past, or a Kotite Believe It Or Not moment from yesteryear.
Sanchez, already down 14-0 and unleashing a popgun offense that couldn’t scare the Little Sisters of the Poor, began the Jets’ latest blooper highlight reel that will be tormenting their long-suffering fans for too long.
Sanchez, from his 31, turned to hand the ball off — to no one — as Shonn Greene ran left and fullback Lex Hilliard stormed into the line to block somebody, anybody.
Cue the Three Stooges music: woo woo woo woo woo.
Sanchez rushed up the middle in a panic, and crashed face-first into the immovable rear end of Brandon Moore, who was blocking Vince Wilfork. There went Sanchez, as if he had slipped on a banana peel, his very own “Down Goes Frazier” moment. Splat on his back, and there went the ball, and there, you cannot help but believe, went the season. It was 21-0 after Steve Gregory ‘s 32-yard fumble return.
“I was thinking a different play in my head,” Sanchez said. “Just a mental error there. … I slid right into Brandon Moore. I’m not a big believer in luck, but that was pretty unlucky.”
Amateur hour continued when Devin McCourty met kickoff returner Joe McKnight with such bad intentions that the ball popped into the air and into the waiting arms of Julian Edelman, whose 22-yard touchdown return made it Patriots 28, Jets 0.
Pass the gravy.
The Tebow chants began with 5:50 remaining in the second quarter and erupted again with 10:34 left in the third quarter.
Pass the sweet potato pie.
Brady’s 56-yard touchdown bomb to Edelman against LaRon Landry made it Patriots 35, Jets 0, and you wouldn’t have blamed the owner if he headed down into the stands to sell hot dogs.
Brady (three touchdowns passing, one rushing) completed eight passes in that first half, and three of them went for touchdowns.
Pass the cranberry sauce.
Sanchez drove his Jets inexorably down the field for a 32-yard Nick Folk field goal that cut the deficit to 35-3 with two seconds left before intermission.
At least Ryan refrained from shouting any obscenities at any fan as he trudged off to the halftime locker room.
“I know our fans deserve a heckuva lot better than this,” Ryan said.
Pass Mrs. Ryan’s green bean casserole.
It was 0-0 when Sanchez, second-and-6 at the New England 23, made a fatal mistake. He looked over the middle for Jeremy Kerley, and found Gregory instead.
“I was thinking one thing, they played another … and Gregory got me,” Sanchez said.
Then Brady and Belichick got them.
Fourth-and-1 at the New England 31, and Ryan, trailing 7-0, was going for it. Good strategy. Bad play. Bad result. Greene plunged up the middle and Brandon Spikes forced the fumble that Gregory recovered at the 17.
Brady found Shane Vereen with an 83-yard touchdown catch-and-sprint and Bart Scott, picked by Wes Welker, appeared to be staging a boycott covering running backs as he chased futilely down the left sidelines.
Imagine if Rob Gronkowski played. Pass the season.