Weird But True

Weird but true

A billy goat brought down the Chicago Cubs more than 60 years ago — and now coyotes are menacing Wrigley Field!

Two of the wild canines were spotted roaming outside “the friendly confines” last Friday, unnerving locals.

The Cubs have been plagued by “The Curse of the Billy Goat” since 1945 when the team ejected a fan and his goat from Wrigley.

The outraged goat owner put a hex on the team and the Cubs haven’t won a National League pennant since.

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Eastern New Mexico University received 80 rolls of toilet tissue along with an unsigned note from someone claiming to be a recent grad, apologizing for ripping off that much tissue during his undergrad days.

The writer claims to have undergone a renewed dedication to Christianity and felt guilty about the petty potty theft.

School officials aren’t sure not sure this gesture wasn’t a prank, but they’re happy to have the 80 rolls.

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“Downsize Fitness” has opened its doors in Dallas, catering only to the obese.

Potential clients must be at least 50 pounds overweight to join.

“I’ve looked at a gym before but never joined, never felt comfortable working out with skinny people,” said one new member.

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Danny Sparks, the mayor of Olive Hill, Ky., resigned yesterday after he was busted for allegedly selling pot to an undercover informant in a school parking lot, officials said.

“We’ve got drug problems, lawsuits, floods, this town has seen it all,” Police Chief Bobby Hall said.

“This is the last thing this town needs to deal with. It’s an embarrassment.”

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An Arizona pastor was busted for allegedly selling worshippers heroin, methamphetamine and prescription drugs.

But Mark Derksen, pastor of Faith Mountain Christian Church, claims he was only dishing the drugs to “bring them closer to God,” according to Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.