Eric Karros
WHAT? Eric Karros’ (inset) analysis of a Josh Thole at-bat on Saturday is one of several examples of TV experts talking complete nonsense on the air, says Phil Mushnick. (Getty Images)
What’s that word people use to express total exasperation, you know, when they can’t take it anymore? Oh, yeah:
Aaarghhh!!!
Crazy talk, spoken by professionals — experts — continues to supplant common sense and nullify plain talk. This weekend’s walk-off winner of the Nut Loaf Bake-Off was Fox’s Eric Karros.
On Saturday, top of the second, Mets-Braves. Mets had first and third, one out, a 2-1 count on Josh Thole, who then took a two-thirds swing at a pitch out of the strike zone. Kirk Nieuwenhuis, running from first, was thrown out.
Karros next said he disliked a hit-and-run in such a situation. And even in retrospect, he made some valid points. But then he began to replace reality with hocus and pocus.
Thole next took a curve in the dirt to make it a 3-2 count. Karros then claimed that Thole should be on first with a walk: “Right now, it should be bases loaded.”
Wait a second! The pitcher, Tommy Hanson, would have thrown the same pitch — a curve in the dirt — on a 3-1 count that he just threw on 2-2? Not likely.
Next, Thole doubled to right-center, scoring the runner from third.
“You’re shaking your head,” play-by-player Chris Myers said to Karros. “You think it should be 2-0.”
Karros then went over it again to conclude: “They should be up, 2-0.”
What!? How could Thole have walked then doubled in two runs in the same at-bat? To quote Lou Costello: “How can a mudder eat its fodder?”
Karros asserted that Thole would have walked, regardless of circumstances. Then he asserted that Thole would have doubled, regardless of circumstances! That’s not analysis, that’s sorcery!
Then there’s the spreading rash of play-by-players eager to replace plain talk with slick-speak, those primed to generate a stream of trite nonsense.
On Friday in the fifth inning of a 5-4 game, Mets’ radio man Josh Lewin apparently was unable to say Braves’ pitcher Tim Hudson “is still in there.” He went with: “Tim Hudson will still have at it.”
Moments later, when Hudson was pulled, Lewin told us that “Hudson will yield the right of way to Christhian Martinez.” Nurse!
Lewin knows baseball, why not just speak it?
On Friday’s Angels-Yanks telecast, Michael Kay continued to speak his forced, freshly concocted silly-isms. Of self-evident bloop hits, he now says, “It’s going to find grass” or “It found grass.” Hmmm.
For 15 years Kay never used that expression. Suddenly, perhaps after being up all night to come up with something new to dazzle us, that’s what he came up with.
But how many broadcasters and print folks never before — not for years — said or wrote “walk-off” for game-ending plays until they suddenly confused it with cool? Now all games end in some kind of “walk-off,” no matter how ridiculous it sounds.
YES misses what everyone else clearly saw
Seeing is Disbelieving: Friday, top of the eighth, the Angels led the Yankees, 4-2, with superstar Albert Pujols at bat. He slices a short high fly down the right field line, but stands near the batter’s box, watching.
Only after he sees that it will fall fair does he run.
The ball would eventually bounce into the stands for a double, but first Pujols, after a senseless but stylish delay, had to turn it on. Rounding first, he grabbed at his leg. The trainer came out, but Pujols stayed in.
On YES, Paul O’Neill, after a replay of Pujols running the bases backwards — walk-to-sprint rather than run-to-jog into second — noted that Pujols didn’t run out of the box, but not a hint of a knock. Then neither he nor Michael Kay even hinted that Pujols might not have hurt himself had he even minimally run from the start!
Next day, top first: Pujols hits one deep to left. It’s caught. But again, as seen in a replay, he just stood near the plate, watching. This time, Kay and O’Neill were joined by David Cone in being unmoved by what they — and we had — just seen.
* Consumer Corner: He had four 40-yard-line seats, 20 rows up, for 25 years. But when the Jets demanded $80,000 for PSLs, plus thousands more every season for tickets and parking, he told them to take a hike.
Last week the Jets called to beg him to buy discounted seats way up in the upper deck.
“I laughed,” he said.
Friday, MLB.TV live game subscribers were shut out by what MLB.com, in an e-mail to “Valued MLB.TV Customers,” described as “a massive internal hardware failure.”
OK, such things happen. MLB apologized, and could have left it at that. Or extended a slight break for next year, something like that.
Instead, MLB.TV subscribers were offered a discount for merchandise at the “MLB.com Shop” — a chance for “Valued Customers” who lost service to buy marked up stuff at a lesser markup!
Sterling calls still ruff on the ears
Had to walk the dog, Friday night, so I brought my transistor to listen to — try to listen to — the Yankees game.
Because the dog quickly cooperated, I spent only one batter with John Sterling, who called a fly ball as if Angels’ catcher John Hester had hit a lazy fly to center. But Sterling’s call concluded with Curtis Granderson making a “running catch.”
Why would Granderson have to make a running catch of a lazy fly?
When I returned to the telecast, the DVR showed that Hester had hit a rocket to deep left-center; that’s why. Darned dog.
* Reader Todd Niemy asks about the adjustment Mets manager Terry Collins has to make when he’s interviewed by Mike Francesa, who tells Collins what he thinks, to when he’s interviewed by subs Evan Roberts and Joe Benigno, “who ask Collins questions, then allow him to answer.”
The better question is why does WFAN pay Collins to appear, when Roberts and Benigno could direct their Met questions to Francesa?
* NCAA Student-Athletics: After Florida State defensive back Tyler
Hunter last week was ticketed for two traffic violations, he chose to tweet lyrics from a rap song: “We need to do like Cali [California] n****s and kill cops.”
* New Net Joe Johnson, 31, was quoted in yesterday’s Post as owning “probably more than” 436 pair of Air Jordans. Now here’s a man with his priorities in order!
* The Knicks’ 17th consecutive rebuilding season under Jimmy Dolan includes a nice mix of experienced players, older players, the “well-travelled” and veterans.