The struggles continue for Hondo, who went 6-9-1 in Week 14 and fell back to seven steps from the mountaintop going into the final week of the season. That’s right; this is the grand finale, unless you don’t believe the Mayans knew what they were talking about back in the day when they predicted lights out on 12/21/12.
Giants over Falcons: Big Blue probably would be running away with the NFC East by now if Tommy TightButt hadn’t kept David Wilson locked up in his doghouse for so long. Nevertheless, judging by last week’s drubbing by the Panthers, the Falcons look like they’re in playoff form already.
Packers over Bears: Random House reportedly gave all employees a $5,000 bonus because of the success of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” its hard-hitting bestseller. Hondo hears the execs initially were reluctant to be so generous, but they ultimately decided it would be appropriate to give till it hurt.
Buccaneers over Saints: Congrats to the Tremont section of The Bronx, which reportedly has the highest rate of sexually transmitted diseases in the city? However, Mr. Aitch would suggest you not ask any resident about their newly revealed distinction. The scab is too fresh and they could be itching for a fight.
Vikings over Rams: Lame duck Secretary of State Hillary Clinton didn’t make a trip to the Middle East to discuss the situation in Syria because she has a stomach virus. Or as she put it when she called in: “I’m sick and I can’t go to Morrrrrrrrrrrocco!”
Bill, ever willing to sacrifice quality time with his wife, encouraged her to make the trip, telling her: “You can make it. It’s probably just one of those two-hour bugs. C’mon, do it for the country, honey!”
Redskins over Browns: Even if RG3 doesn’t play, Cousins is relatively competent and should provide enough offense to make the Browns cry uncle.
Dolphins over Jaguars: Obama is said to be upset that Wall Street bonuses are down 16 percent this year because it gives him so much less to redistribute.
Broncos over Ravens: The good news for the Ravens is they fired offensive coordinator Cam Cameron. The bad news is they hired Jim Caldwell, who, as you will recall from his days as Colt coach, has serious clock management issues.
Colts over Texans: Chris Christie, one of Barbra Walters’ Most Fascinating People of 2012, sounded as if he is readying a run for the presidency. In fact, word is his bromance with Obama is so strong he plans to write a book along the lines of the President’s “The Audacity of Hope.” Christie’s book will be titled: “The Audacity of Anger … and Pizza!”
Christie has admitted to getting help from a personal trainer in an attempt to deal with his poundage problem. If so, says emauler Ed Buckmir, then he must be working with the most incompetent personal trainer in America.
Chargers over Panthers: Sean Penn has asked for prayers and support for ailing Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez. Surely you will want to do whatever you can, but try not to let Penn’s plea to curtail your Hail Marys and Our Fathers for the good health and well-being of Castro, Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong Un, who was voted Person of the Year by Time readers.
Seahawks over Bills: Speaking of the power of prayer, Pope Benedict (@Pontifex) sent out his first tweet Wednesday, offering a somewhat predictable: “I bless all of you from my heart.” Hondo’s Vatican sources say his next dispatch will focus on an individual who has been suffering ever since he selected the Cardinals, 58-0 losers to the Seahags last week, as a Best Bet. The message? “God help you, Blezow!”
Lions over Cardinals: Roger Goodell says the league’s competition committee, in the interest of player safety, will consider banning kickoffs in favor of a fourth-and-15 at the 30 in which a team could punt or go for it. If that happens, the only kicking left in football will be on field goals, extra points and Ndamukong Suh’s traditional Thanksgiving attack.
So let’s sort this out: The idea is to get rid of kickoffs, in which players run the risk of getting hurt in high-speed collisions, and replace them with punts, in which players run the risk of getting hurt in high-speed collisions. Brilliant, Roger!
Cowboys over Steelers: Mitt Romney visited Manny Pacquiao before the fighter was KO’d by Juan Manuel Marquez last Saturday. “Hi, Manny, I’m Mitt Romney,” he said. “I ran for President. I lost.” No word on whether Pacquiao responded: You might have won if you’d hammered Obama on Benghazi during the foreign policy debate.
Raiders over Chiefs: There’s no quit in the Raiders, other than Carson Palmer.
Patriots over 49ers: Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy, whose stance against same-sex marriage landed him on the griddle earlier this year, is said to be happy that LSU and Clemson were chosen for his company’s Dec. 31 bowl game. There was only one matchup he didn’t want: South Carolina vs. Jacksonville State — he couldn’t stand the idea of Gamecocks going up against Gamecocks.
Titans over Jets: You have to wonder where Mike Duplica and the Daily Ruse came up with the idea of going with a clown/circus theme for his Jets column Sunday? It couldn’t have been from The Post’s opening NFL pullout and recurring treatment of the Best Clowns in Town, could it? Oh, well, you know what they say: Imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality.
So long, HondoNation; it has been most enjoyable being your correspondent.
BEST BETS: Giants, Lions, Raiders.
LAST NIGHT: Bengwads (W).