Hondo continued his ascent in Week 16, compiling a simply sparkling 11-5 record that left him one game away from sharing the Bettor’s Guide summit with Rico and perennial women’s division champ Ms. Charleen.
BG devotees will recall that Mr. Aitch was seven lengths behind after 13 weeks, but in true championship form he has elevated his game in the stretch and positioned himself for a fantastic finish (presented by Alcoa).
The final burst begins with:
Jets over Bills: Mark Sanchez and Ryan Fitzpatrick, two of the league’s more dreadful QBs, make this game a toss-up, meaning if you watch it, chances are you will toss up your lunch.
Some Jet fuel from BarkingMut of SoBe: Criticizing the Jets for not living up to their promises, Tim Tebow called his signing with the Jets the Immaculate Deception … Rex Ryan can finally make a guarantee this week he can actually back up — a Jets losing season.
Eagles over Giants: Don’t be shocked if Andy Reid doesn’t bow out of Philly with a victory Sunday at MetLife, which, unfortunately, means Vick would bowwow out with a win also. Even if the Beagles don’t win outright, 7 1/2 seems a little pricey for the Giants, who look like they already have made their tee times for next week.
Dolphins over Patriots: Four State Department staffers who supposedly lost their jobs because their failures led to inadequate security in Benghazi had their positions adjusted but remain on the payroll, according to a Post exclusive. That’ll teach them.
Bengals over Ravens: Meanwhile, in other government news, a Social Security employee was reprimanded and accused of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer” for farting. According to the effluvial evidence, he unleashed 60 gaseous blasts in 17 days. Thus, if you’re scoring at home: At one governmental agency, you get a formal reprimand if you fart, while at another you get a pass if your failure to provide proper security at a U.S. consulate contributes to four deaths.
Emauler Ed Buckmir points out that the fact Social Security Administration brass was able to sniff out the culprit shows the agency has some crack supervisors.
Steelers over Browns: Famed underwear bombers William Shatner and Nipsy Nancy Grace don’t understand why everyone’s skivvies are in a bunch over the federal farter’s 60 explosions in 17 days. They pump out that many by noon daily.
Colts over Texans: More D.C. malfeasance: Alleged teetotaling Mormon and Idaho Sen. Mike Crapo was busted early Sunday for DUI. So, what do you know, Crapo was s–t-faced.
Jaguars over Titans: It isn’t all bad news in Washington: Obama, who was named Person of the Year by Time, this week added CNN’s Most Intriguing Person of the Year to his resume. Not only that but he also is expected to be named Golfer of the Year, Debtor of the Year, Vacationer of the Year and Finger-Pointer of the Year.
Bears over Lions: If the Eagles don’t pull the plug on the Giants’ flickering playoff hopes, the Bears will. The grossly underachieving Lions, meanwhile, will complete their descent from 10-6 contenders to 4-12 dregs.
Lions fun fact: During the offseason, Ndamukong Suh likes to stay sharp by playing kickball.
Packers over Vikings: Green Bay would have already locked up a first-round bye if banker/replacement official Lance Easley hadn’t butchered The Call in Seattle. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, since it has given Packer fans some whine to wash down their cheese.
Buccaneers over Falcons: One good thing about the Bucs having lost nine games (and counting) in Greg Schiano’s rookie season is that it has enabled them plenty of opportunities to work on Schiano’s submarine attack on opponents lining up in the victory formation.
Saints over Panthers: The Journal News of Rockland and Westchester this week published the names and addresses of all licensed gun owners in the two counties. How thoughtful of the Gannett newspaper to publish what amounts to “The Burglar’s Bible.”
Thanks to the Journal News, here’s a scene that could play out now: Burglar No. 1: “What do you think about hitting this house?” Burglar No. 2: “Lemme check the Journal News … Nope, no registered guns here. C’mon, let’s go in.”
Chiefs over Broncos: It won’t be long before NRA point man Wayne LaPierre announces his solution for protecting firemen from attacks by psychos hell-bent on killing: Staff each fire truck with armed guards toting automatic weapons.
Chargers over Raiders: With Carson Palmer out with cracked ribs and a bruised lung, it looks like Matt Leinart will start at QB against SD, so the Raiders will be going from a quitter to a slacker. Not exactly an upgrade. Lay ’em and slay ’em.
Cardinals over 49ers: Much smaller crowds are expected at Obama’s second inauguration. That’s probably because of the terrible economy he inherited from the previous administration.
Seahawks over Rams: There has been a crescendo of carping building lately about the effect Obama dragging everyone over the fiscal cliff will have on paychecks. Oh, well, you know what they say: You get what you vote for.
Redskins over Cowboys: Another year, another disappointment for America’s Losers.
BEST BETS: Bears, Chargers, Redskins.
Happy New Year, HondoNation! See you at the bottom of the cliff.