D-HAWKS: Seattle’s punishing defense, ganging up on the Rams’ Steven Jackson last week, will be the difference against hobbling RG3 and the Skins Sunday , according to Hondo. (UPI)
Hondo, who was only a game back going into Week 17, went flying over the fiscal cliff as he fizzled his way to the finish line with a dismal 6-10 record that left him in fourth place, five games back.
However, every outcome makes somebody happy, so while Hondo was wallowing in misery, Rico was celebrating his Men’s Division triumph and Ms. Charleen, the former Post sports department secretary and Native Canadian known as Typing Bear, was reveling in her 22nd straight victory in the Women’s Division.
His Aitchness, who also relinquished his two-year stranglehold on the Best Bet title, will have to be content with dusting the field in the College Bettor’s Guide, which he clinched earlier this week.
All right, with the accounting complete, let’s get down to the wild-card action.
Bengals-Texans: Two teams moving in different directions. Houston is southbound, having blown a first-round bye by losing three of its last four, while Cincinnati is streaking northward, having won seven of its last eight. The Andy Dalton-to-A.J. Green connection along with a relentless pass rush that will envelop the stationary Matt Schaub should be enough to help the Bengwads avenge last year’s ouster and get them off their 21-year playoff schneid. Bengwads 24, Texans 21
Injury note: If running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis can’t go, he will be replaced by Brian Leonard Cedric Peerman.
Vikings-Packers: After getting mowed down in Minnesota, the Packers have one mantra going into this slugfest: Slow Adrian! Meanwhile, with Vike CB Antoine Winfield hurting, the mismatch between the QBs becomes even more to ponder. Assuming Air Aaron and the rest of the Pack pitchmen took a break from making commercials and found time to practice, it’s not much of a Lambeau leap to this conclusion: Packers 38, Vikings 24
Colts-Ravens: The Colts are on an impressive run, but their 11-5 record included victories over the Titans (twice), Jags, Chiefs, Browns, Dolphins, Bills and Lions — not exactly a killer sked. Plus, what could be more damning than a 35-9 road loss to the Jets? Luck might win Rookie of the Year, but Luck be a loser Sunday against playoff-tested Baltimore. Ravens 21, Colts 10
Seahawks-Redskins: Then again, with RG3 and Russell Wilson in the field, Luck could be a loser in the Rookie of the Year race, too. Both offenses have a similar 1-2 punch — Griffin and Wilson were 3-4 in the QB ratings and Alfred Morris and Marshawn Lynch finished 2-3 in rushing. However, the Seahags’ stingier ’D’ gives them the edge, especially with Griff gimpy. Hate to root for Pete Carroll, the fugitive from NCAA justice, but it looks like: Seahags 24, Redskins 14
Meanwhile, in other areas of import:
Let’s not begrudge Rex Ryan an opportunity to kick back and relax with his wife in the Bahamas after a long and rough season. The lovebirds are entitled to have some fun, maybe taking some barefoot strolls, playing footsie, watching Tootsie, eating some toe-fu and hanging 10.
BarkingMut of SoBe emails to say the last GM that mismanaged business as badly as Mike Tannenbaum was located in Detroit and got a $50 billion bailout from the government.
Dirty Old Fred Willard, who was caught pleasuring himself in an adult movie theater in Los Angeles, avoided a lewd-conduct trial by completing a “diversion program.” Now, when he gets the urge, he will be able to find a diversion that doesn’t require him to take matters into his own hands — in public.
Dirty Dave Letterman tells Oprah in Sunday’s interview that he has “no one to blame but myself” for the pain caused by his sexual affairs. Really? And here all along, most people probably thought it was the fault of the female interns, who, unable to resist the sexual magnetism of the wrinkly, gap-toothed funnyman, wouldn’t take no for an answer.
How ’bout that big stock market jump after the fiscal cliff agreement! Apparently, investors reacted favorably to a bunch of overpaid, underperforming and procrastinating bums rushing a deal together that raised taxes on everyone but did nothing to curtail spending. Buy!
During the fiscal cliff talks, J
ohn Boehner reportedly told Harry Reid: “Go f— yourself.” What a coincidence — those are the same words millions of New Yorkers and New Jerseyans directed at Boehner after he failed to take a vote on Sandy aid after voting for the tax hike.
So as it turns out Obama’s post-Sandy photo-op with Chris Christie wasn’t all that helpful to the storm-ravaged metro area, which is still waiting for its federal cash. However, at least it gave his LapDog News Service commentators such as Chris “I’m So Glad We Had That Storm” Matthews an opportunity to gush about its importance to Obama’s reelection.
Al Gore has sold his Current TV cable network to Al Jazeera for a reported $500 million. K-Dog of Md. sees a smooth transition, as the new management undoubtedly will want to keep much of the channel’s anti-American programming.
Neertheless there will be a need for some additional Al-Jazeera America daytime shows. Under consideration are: “Morning Jihad,” “Mayberry IED,” “The Good Wives,” “Celebrity Rehab with Poppy Fields,” “Really Mad Men,” and, finally, according to K-Dog, “Let’s Mecca Deal.”