Before Jimmy Kimmel debuted at his new 11:35 time slot on ABC last night — going head-to-head for the first time against his idols, Jay Leno and David Letterman — he debuted as one of the few-ever live guests on “Eyewitness News.”
Kimmel, who sees everything with a jaundiced eye, knew, clearly, how stupid that move was, but hey, ABC just gave him the big spot, so what the hell.
New to his show was a band (but it sort of never came back), and a new set that looks more like “American Idol” than Jimmy, but with an oddly terrible, cheap desk.
Kimmel began the show with his usual monologue, which as usual was more about pop culture than politics, and interspersed it with video clips such as a horrifying one of Honey Boo Boo’s mom talking about her fear of “maranaise.” (Google translation into English: Mayonaise.)
Next he introduced his assistant/longtime parking attendant, Guillermo, who when asked to describe himself replied, “I like to eat and I like to drink.”
Kimmel’s Lie Witness News (not the same as the newscast earlier!) had people talking about how much they’ve been enjoying Jimmy’s new time slot, which of course hadn’t happened yet. Best: A woman saying how funny it was when Jimmy set the Dalai Lama on fire.
The next skit fell flatter than you’d expect. It was Kimmels’ YouTube challenge in which he had asked people to hug their TVs in the middle of the big game the night before and videotape what happened. Much of what happened, unfortunately, was ugly, verging on violent, with people with their pants down in ugly houses getting mad and hitting each other.
The show came back to life with “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” with a bunch of famous people who can’t stop tweeting reading the tweets people wrote about them. Hilarious.
Like? Like “Dr. Phil why don’t you shut the f–k up you bald headed $%#.” “My Asian orthodontist says Jessica Beil has horse teeth.” “That Kirstie Alley is a dirty whore. There I said it.” “I’m not being mean but why does Anderson Cooper remind me of dinosaurs?” To wit the ever eloquent Cooper replied, “F–k you.”
All good. The show came to a screeching halt, though, when Kimmel’s first guest, Jennifer Aniston, came on and stayed for half of the show. First thing she did? Bust up the cheap desk with a sledgehammer. That made no sense, and neither did a segment in which she showed photos of her vacation with her fiancé and Kimmel.
Then she did a skit where she played Kimmel’s mother, which we could have lived without.
He finished up with “No Doubt,” a music group that no doubt is always a winner.
Bottom line? Like I said last year, Kimmel belongs at the earlier hour. And it’s cheaper than taking a taxi to catch glimpses of the guy because you don’t want to stay up until 12:30 to see his show.