Elisabeth Vincentelli

Elisabeth Vincentelli

Theater

‘Watson Intelligence’ doesn’t land anywhere interesting

The action in “The (Curious Case of the) Watson Intelligence” jumps around time periods and settings, the transitions between them smoothed by a large curtain that glides around on a rail above the stage.
Unfortunately that curtain is visually distracting and incredibly loud — it’s like a giant version of those garment carousels at the dry cleaner.

This cumbersome device is typical of Madeleine George’s new dramedy, which in trying to say a lot only draws attention to its own cleverness — starting with that parenthesis in the title.

George’s starting point was a pattern of helpers/devices bearing the name of Watson. There was Sherlock Holmes’ sleuthing partner, Dr. John Watson. In the real world, Alexander Graham Bell had an assistant named Thomas Watson. And finally, IBM’s supercomputer Watson famously triumphed in “Jeopardy!”

Here, Watson is played, in his various incarnations, by John Ellison Conlee (last seen as the hapless husband in “Murder Ballad”). Conlee is best in the artificial-intelligence guise — he sits still, stares into space and interacts drolly with his creator, the engineering genius Eliza (Amanda Quaid, late of “Cock”).

With quick minor costume and accent adjustments, Conlee switches to Bell’s Watson and to a contemporary Watson who works for something called the Dweeb Team — clearly inspired by the Geek Squad that helps people with their home electronics.

The latter Watson is hired by one of his clients, the terminally irritating Merrick (David Costabile, last seen on “Breaking Bad”), to spy on his ex, Eliza — yes, the computer mastermind. Another Eliza and another Merrick also pop up in the Sherlock-verse.

All these strands crisscross constantly, forcing director Leigh Silverman to finagle tricky scene changes and the actors to run around switching from one character to another.

As the show plods along, we realize that George’s real subject is actually pretty pedestrian — her characters keep launching into self-involved monologues about how hard it is to make connections.

“It’s our fate to be bound up with one another, isn’t it,” one Watson says to one Eliza. “We are all born insufficient, and must look to others to supplement our strength.” Amazingly, they’re not having this chat at a New Age retreat.

Maybe the play would have been more fun if George had decided to link Queen Elizabeth I, Elizabeth Taylor and Elizabeth “Liz” Lemon instead.