The most exciting fashion moment of last night’s Grammys came when someone showed up on the carpet in a clown mask.
No, not Madonna — that came later.
It was the lead member of thrash metal band Slipknot, who typically wears a clown mask as part of his act, who caused the biggest stir — and thrill — at the arrivals.
Clown’s was the first mask but it wouldn’t be the last of the night (what between various Beatles and Daft Punk), but it was symptomatic of the boring-ass turnout in style statements.
The men would prove to be the most adventurous, with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis leading the way in dueling loud suits of green velvet and outsized houndstooth, respectively.
Next to them, the girls looked, well, kinda “Thrift Shop.”
God bless Katy Perry. The girl knows what to wear to an award show — or any show. She took the whole thing in a Valentino couture gown with musical notes straight off the Paris runway two weeks ago. Crowned with a diva Maria Callas hair cruller, no less. Fashion and fun, wrapped up in one package.
Taylor Swift looked supermodel super in a skinny silver-mesh Gucci column, but she could have been going to anywhere in awards season.
Where was the creative license?
We were counting on the likes of Rita Ora and Pink to bring the fun, but even Ora in her short green metallic Lanvin was a tame letdown and Pink looked downright stately in her strapless red mermaid gown.
The couples took the award for Best in Show, with Robin Thicke and Paula Patton, Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose, and John Legend and Chrissy Teigen all cutting complementary fashion figures in rock ‘n’ roll sequins of gold or zebra stripes.
It almost had you wishing for someone to come out of an egg.
We had to settle for an Amish retreat. Madonna hit the red carpet in Diane Keaton’s look from the Golden Globes (actually a suit from Ralph Lauren) — to which she added Lil Wayne’s grill, Michael Jackson’s glove and Harrison Ford’s hat from “Witness.”
Pharrell Williams seemed to be taking his cues from Smokey the Bear.
And Paris Hilton looked like she was dressed to club Nancy Kerrigan.
Now if only there were a fashion equivalent to Auto-Tune.
