LIFE’S A BEACH: Erica (left), Joey and Amanda of “Princesses: Long Island,” airing on Bravo. (Janette Pellegrini/Bravo)
If “Seinfeld” was the quintessential “show about nothing,” then the upcoming abomination from Bravo, “Princesses: Long Island,” is yapping at its heels.
Loudly.
I can’t quite understand why the women featured on this so-called “reality show” — which tracks twentysomething daddy’s girls through their routines of shopping, mani pedis and more shopping — would think their shallow exploits are admirable (or, at the very least, tolerable on some amusing level).
I suppose the lure of a TV series is just too hard to resist — but is it worth all the disdain they could open themselves up to once this premieres?
Try as I might, I really can’t think of one reason why this show — which just might be the dumbest 45 minutes of TV I’ve ever watched (it’s a long list, so I’d have to comb the mental archives) — was ever produced in the first place.
Did Bravo execs think a look into how these obnoxious women exist, in Long Island towns including Great Neck, would do anything but perpetuate ugly stereotypes?
Can’t answer that one, but I can tell you four of the five women featured here — Chanel, Erica, Ashlee and Amanda — don’t do themselves any favors in terms of relating to the viewer at home, which is important for a show with such a flimsy premise.
The only one of the five who seems to be rooted in a reality that exists outside of the Five Towns is Joey, who holds down a full-time job and appears to have a good head on her shoulders.
As mentioned earlier, nothing much happens here. The women gab with each other, talk about what they’re looking for in a husband (“amenities,” says one) and gab some more. Save for Joey, the others don’t seem to work, yet revel in living with their parents, who cater to their every need.
Since this is a reality show, the producers needed some “drama” — so they stage a culture-clashing pool party and then stage a verbal fight (Amanda’s boyfriend gets into a tussle with someone he’s encountered on Facebook — or something).
Absolutely awful.